Photo byLaterJay Photography

A humorous look at things my mother taught me in the kitchen that nobody else in my kitchen seems to know

Mom always said that if the beds were made and the dishes were done, everything else would fall into place. I think it was part of some kind of Midwestern Mother code she transported with her when we took that train out of the Twin Cities in the 1960s.

As a single mother, I found her advice helpful. I knew that if I made the bed every morning and made sure the dishes were done after every meal, the clutter that gathers behind small children would be so much easier to deal with. That and the ever-present layer of dust that claims homestead and settles into just about every house in the Arizona desert.

Make the Beds and Do the Dishes is more than advice. It’s a form of magic.

That is not to say that I always practiced what Mom preached in the days of diapers, dolls, and deadlines. Most days I could barely get out of my bed on time to get the kids off to school and myself to work, let alone make it. Oh, and the children’s beds?

What do you think?

However, as the children grew up and were able to help with some of those things, well…it pretty much stayed the same.

The Way

It’s not like I didn’t teach the kids The Way of the Midwestern Household. There were times when we worked together to Make the Beds and Do the Dishes. Making the Beds is the easy part. The problem was that Doing the Dishes is not as simple as it sounds. It takes more time and effort than you would think.

You see, what my mother and her mother…and my grandmothers as far back as there have been Midwestern mothers, I suspect…taught their children was that to Do the Dishes is much more than sloshing the pots and pans around in sudsy water and piling them up to dry. Or, scraping them and stacking them up in the dishwasher.

The strange thing is that it seems like nobody else truly knows and understands the true meaning of Doing the Dishes. My sister agrees, because she and I learned the same lesson from Mom, and though we have raised distinctly Southwestern children, it seems we can’t shake out the Midwestern mother we inherited from ours.

Kitchen magic

It seems as if nobody (in my kitchen) knows the secrets of this esoteric household practice. I thought I would share it here for those other folks out there who inherited the Midwestern Mother code. I know you're out there -- and you aren't all moms -- or women, for that matter.

There’s a list. There’s always a list. Feel free to copy the list onto your refrigerator white board as reminders until those who need to know have instilled the code deep into their DNA.

It's your turn to do the dishes.

Again?!?!

Yep.

1. 1. Scrape and stack the dishes, including the pots and pans
   2. Put away any leftovers
   3. Rinse the dishes and load them into the dishwasher
   4. Turn on the dishwasher
      OR, ALTERNATIVELY:
   5. Fill up the sink with hot, sudsy water
   6. Wash and dry the glassware first
   7. Then wash the plates and bowl
   8. Follow up with the silverware, including cutlery
   9. Do pots and pans last

“The dishes are done, man!”

No, they are not, there's more:

1. 1. Clean out the sink
   2. Wipe off the counters and straighten up the small appliances
   3. Clean off the top of the stove, including the burners or burner liners
   4. Wipe the fingerprints off the refrigerator handle
   5. Wipe down the table, put away condiments and spices

“The dishes are done, man?”

No…wait, there’s more:

1. 1. Sweep the floor
   2. Take out the trash if it’s full and replace the trash bag

“The dishes are done, man.”

Maybe.

Or maybe:

1. 1. Brew a cup of your favorite tea
   2. Or cocoa
   3. Grab and find a comfortable chair
   4. Or turn on your favorite television show
   5. Sit down, put up your feet
   6. Enjoy the rest of your night

“The dishes are done, man.”

Yes. Yes, they are.

The dishes are done when the kitchen is clean. Otherwise, everything is in a state of chaos.

I often live in a state of dust and chaos.

Sorry, Mom.

Photo byGregory Butler

At least the bed is made.