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Table Talk
Why Time Feels Like It’s Slipping Away: The Paradox of Choice in Modern Life
2 days ago
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, into the future....
I'm showing my age here, with these lyrics from the popular 1970s Steve Miller song "Fly Like an Eagle."
Time is slipping through our fingers, or at least it feels that way.
Many of us feel constantly rushed, even when we have more conveniences than ever before. You’d think technology and modern comforts would free up our time, yet the opposite seems to be happening.
The answer often lies in something far less obvious: the paradox of choice. It’s not just about having too much to do. It’s about having too many options in every facet of life—something that makes us more anxious, indecisive, and ultimately, feel like we’re wasting time.
Let's look beyond the typical "too many choices" discussion and dig into the less talked about effects of this modern dilemma.
1. Choice Paralysis Is Stealing Time You Don't Realize You're Losing
Most people think of choice paralysis as simply taking longer to make decisions, but it’s deeper than that. The real time-suck happens after the decision.
Even once you've picked a Netflix show or settled on a restaurant, part of your brain is still considering the alternatives you didn’t choose. This second-guessing consumes mental energy and, more significantly, eats away at your sense of satisfaction.
Instead of being fully present in your choice, your mind remains partially trapped in the unchosen options. This mental tug-of-war makes time feel like it’s slipping away because you're never fully "in" the moment.
2. Micro-Decisions Are Piling Up
We hear about “decision fatigue,” but it’s not just big choices that matter. It’s the accumulation of hundreds of micro-decisions we make daily. What playlist to listen to, which photo filter to use, how to respond to a message—all of these seemingly minor choices add up.
Each one might take only a few seconds, but collectively, they fragment our focus and sap our energy. It’s like being pecked to death by ducks: each peck seems insignificant, but together they drain your resources.
And since these tiny decisions are non-stop, your mind never fully unwinds. Time starts to feel compressed because you're always on call for the next decision, no matter how trivial.
3. More Choices Are Actually Creating More Dead Time
We assume that more choices mean more freedom, but they often create more dead time—the moments in between activities when nothing seems to get done.
Think of the gap between work and dinner, or the time you spend scrolling through apps trying to decide what to do. This time feels unproductive, and worse, it’s a side effect of having too many options.
We believe we’re supposed to use this free time wisely, but the pressure to optimize it makes us less likely to actually commit to something. The result? More “dead” time that we didn’t plan for and can’t account for. No wonder the day feels shorter.
4. The Illusion of Infinite Options Encourages Procrastination
We tend to think that having more options empowers us, but it can actually encourage procrastination. When we believe we have infinite choices—whether it’s in careers, hobbies, or relationships—it’s easy to put things off.
Why make a firm decision today if you can keep your options open? But this illusion of endless possibilities leads to endless deferral. You become so fixated on preserving all your choices that you never fully commit to any of them. The consequence? Time slips by, and you wake up realizing that the freedom of choice kept you from making meaningful progress.
5. Overload Disguised as Efficiency
Our modern world promotes the idea that multitasking and choice are efficient, but in reality, they often disguise overload. Constantly switching between tasks, tabs, or screens feels productive at first, but it stretches our attention thin and diminishes our ability to experience time meaningfully.
We end up packing our schedules, thinking we're maximizing time, but the opposite is true. This frantic hopping between activities—always looking for the next best thing—creates a blur where hours evaporate without a sense of accomplishment. The irony is that while we think we’re managing our time better, we’re actually losing our grip on it.
6. Social Media Amplifies the Paradox of Choice
Social media may seem like an obvious time-waster, but here’s a twist: it’s not just the mindless scrolling that eats up your day. It’s the constant comparison. You see other people’s choices—how they spend their time, where they travel, what they eat—and it introduces doubt into your own decisions.
Even if you’re happy with how you’ve spent your day, social media exposes you to infinite alternatives, making you wonder if you’re missing out. This “fear of missing out” (FOMO) adds an invisible weight to your choices, and suddenly, even the time you enjoyed feels like it’s slipping away.
7. We’re Constantly Editing Our Lives Instead of Living Them
With so many choices at our fingertips, we’ve become editors of our own lives, constantly curating what fits best into the narrative we want to present. We spend more time editing reality—through photos, status updates, and online personas—than actually living it.
The effort to refine and perfect these representations eats into our real-world experiences. Time isn’t just slipping away; it’s being spent on the “idea” of time rather than the actual moments themselves. When you look back, it feels like you were never fully present because a part of you was always crafting the next version of yourself.
The Path to Reclaiming Time
Understanding this paradox of choice doesn't mean you can magically add hours to your day, but it does help explain why time feels like it's disappearing. We need to reframe how we approach decisions—not by eliminating options, but by learning to commit fully to the ones we make. By doing so, we not only save time, but we enrich the experience of it.
The solution isn’t to eliminate choice, but to recognize when choice becomes a burden rather than a benefit. When we reclaim our focus, we begin to reclaim our time. And maybe, just maybe, time will stop slipping away.
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