He died decades after being shaken as an infant. Now, Florida babysitter admits to 1984 crime.

For 40 years, babysitter Terry McKirchy denied shaking 5-month-old Benjamin Dowling, leaving him with a lifetime of severe mental and physical disabilities.

But on Wednesday, 62-year-old McKirchy — stoic and unassuming in a red jumpsuit and shackles — admitted to causing Dowling’s death before Broward Circuit Court Judge George Odom, Jr. Loved ones gathered in the courtroom, some weeping during the emotionally grueling testimony.

On July 3, 1984, McKirchy, then 22, was babysitting Dowling in Hollywood when the infant was shaken so violently that his brain hemorrhaged, according to the Miami Herald’s archives.

When his parents picked him up, they noticed that the baby had trouble breathing. His hands were blue, and his body was limp.

After rushing him to the hospital, Dowling was diagnosed with shaken baby syndrome, which can cause blindness, brain damage and, in most cases, death, according the Herald’s archives. The injuries, which occur when small blood vessels between the brain and skull rupture, can occur in infants because their brains are soft and their skulls are still forming.

Dowling, however, survived. He lived until age 35, dying at his family home on Florida’s Gulf Coast on Sept. 16, 2019.

McKirchy in 2021 was indicted on a first-degree murder charge. An autopsy revealed that Dowling’s death was linked to the injuries he sustained in 1984.

In court on Wednesday, McKirchy pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced to three years in prison followed by 10 years of probation. Prosecutor Pascale Achille said the parties came to the agreement because the case was “emotionally charged on both sides.”

McKirchy was also ordered to divulge what she longed denied: What happened leading up to Dowling’s injuries and, later, his death.

Assistant Public Defender David Fry read a letter penned by the former babysitter in which apologized to Dowling’s parents and said she hoped to offer them “some measure of solace.”

In the letter, McKirchy said she was entrusted by the Dowlings to care for their son but “fell short of those responsibilities” because she felt “extremely overwhelmed and exhausted.”

So, “out of impulse and anger” due to caring for several other crying children, she shook Dowling, the letter stated.

‘You lied to my face’

Testifying on Zoom, Pam Chestnut recalled how McKirchy once called the family frantically because Dowling appeared to be lifeless. What they didn’t know then, she said, was that that was the first time McKirchy had shaken the baby.

Chestnut, McKirchy’s best friend and a cousin of the Dowlings, said the babysitter had a history of anger problems. McKirchy, who watched the child for no more than seven days, once even told her that Dowling cried a lot and that she considered quitting.

“It makes me sick to know what she had done to that baby while I was trying to console her, my best friend,” Chestnut said.

For years, Chestnut said she struggled to accept that her former best friend could have harmed the infant.

“Terry, there was so much proof that you did something to that baby,” she said. “And you lied to my face.”

Holding back tears, sister Melissa Dowling emphasized how her brother taught her invaluable life lessons, despite not being able to speak. His presence, she said, was a source of inspiration for everyone around him.

“Benjamin and I shared a bond that transcended words,” she told the court. “He was the best listener. He made me feel heard and understood, even in his silence.”

Mother Rae Dowling, occasionally sniffling as she faced the judge, recalled her excitement she and her husband Joe Dowling welcomed their first-born child. The couple decided to move back to Broward, where they grew up, shortly after their son’s birth to be closer to family.

When Rae Dowling met McKirchy, she felt comfortable leaving him in her care and returning to work as McKirchy was a family friend. But ups and downs quickly followed.

On July 3, 1984, McKirchy told the baby’s mother that he had fallen off the couch earlier that morning. Rae Dowling said she immediately knew that something was wrong — and because of it, her son was forced to live that way for the rest of his life.

“Benjamin was profoundly disabled for his 35 years of life because of what Terry McKirchy did to him...” she said. “All because one person couldn’t control their actions on one day in July 1984.”

Justice delayed?

While Dowling was forever impacted by the actions that McKirchy admitted to in court Wednesday, the former babysitter remained free for most of her life.

“I hope not a day goes by that you remember that face, that young man, and are reminded of what your behavior did and the effect it had on some many people, including yourself,” Odom said, pointing at a photo of Dowling before him.

Back in 1984, McKirchy was charged with attempted murder and aggravated child abuse. She pleaded no contest to lesser charges and, at the time a pregnant mother of two, was ordered to complete 60 days of weekend jail in addition to three years of probation.

After her sentencing in 1985, McKirchy told the Miami Herald that she took the deal to move on from the case. She was facing up to 17 years in prison.

“I know I didn’t do it,” McKirchy said at the time. “My conscience is clear. But I can’t deal with it anymore.”

Rae Dowling, the child’s mother, slammed that agreement.

“Big deal,” she told the Herald in the ‘80s. “Benjamin doesn’t walk. He doesn’t talk. He doesn’t sit up or hold up his head, all those basic physical things that the brain tells the body to do.”

No length of sentence is enough, Rae and Joe Dowling told reporters Wednesday, because it won’t bring their son back. However, it was the first time McKirchy has ever said anything about Dowling’s injuries.

“I think [the apology] probably was sincere, but I’ve never spoken to her since the day it happened,” Rae Dowling said. “Our thoughts and our focus was on Benjamin.”