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CASTLE PINES — Golf is a proper gentleman’s game until Rory McIlroy blows a gasket and acts like a spoiled brat.
At age 35, aren’t you a little old to throw a club or a childish tantrum, Rory?
While Castle Pines Golf Club buzzed Friday about the sizzling 63 recorded by Adam Scott, it was a silly little meltdown by McIlroy that stole the show.
Stuck for a decade with four major championships on his resume, we’re now happy to award McIlroy a new trophy for what might be the lamest club toss in PGA Tour history.
Could it be that golf’s self-described “Nearly Man” hasn’t achieved more with his immense talent because McIlroy has wasted too many moments in his career feeling sorry for himself?
Toward the end of a frustrating round in the Colorado sunshine that would leave him tied for 15th place at the midway point of the BMW Championship, McIlroy stood on the tee at the par-5 17th hole in urgent need of a birdie or eagle to get within shouting distance of Scott.
After watching his tee shot sail “Fore! Right!” into the rough, however, McIlroy took out his frustration on his driver, morosely hurling it into a pond a few feet in front of him.
Now, as an old hacker who has more than a few good walks spoiled on the course, I can appreciate a good golf tantrum.
But instead of getting mad, what McIlroy did might more aptly be described as pouting. His sourpuss body language was unmistakable to any parent that has ever denied a misbehaving child an ice cream cone on a hot summer day.
At the moment McIlroy took a low, slow swing and bounced his driver on one hop into the water, he was undoubtedly still preoccupied with a bogey only minutes early at No. 16, a par 3 with a generally kind disposition.
But here’s maybe an even better explanation for that pathetic woe-is-Rory mug:
The history of Castle Pines tells us it’s nearly impossible to win a tournament here without heavily leveraging the par 5s — strategically placed around the course at Nos. 1, 8, 14 and 17 — to your advantage on the scorecard.
When I asked about the scoring opportunities the par 5s provide, Denver native Wyndham Clark told me a reasonable goal for every round is to “play them at 3- to 5-under par.”
Watching McIlroy’s meltdown took me back to the glory years of The International on this same layout, when Greg Norman was not only the most dashing man on tour but ranked No. 1 in the world for 331 weeks in the 1980s and ‘90s.
Back in those days, after I blasted Norman in print for whining about how much he paid in taxes on the enormous American dollars he raked in, “The Shark” challenged me to walk outside the clubhouse at Castle Pines and settle things man-to-man.
Well, mate, I’m happy to report Norman never got physical with me, because he would’ve eaten me alive. But I certainly respected his desire to settle our differences face-to-face.
After his club toss, McIlroy had nothing to say, declining to appear in the media interview tent.
Golfers operate as independent contractors. As such, they aren’t held to a responsibility to share their thoughts with fans in the manner pro quarterbacks are required to do. Any run-of-the-mill quarterback in the NFL gets paid well in excess of the $10.93 million in winnings McIlroy has earned this season, in no small part because of lucrative media-rights deals signed with the expectation any QB can man-up and explain what happened on a pick-6.
So McIlroy can do what he wants, but please don’t cry me a river about his emotional distress and need for quiet time after throwing a club in the drink.
I get it. Whether you’re NBA superstar Nikola Jokic at the Olympics, presidential candidate Kamala Harris on the campaign trail or a pouty PGA touring pro after a tough day at the office, it’s very 2024 to control the message by speaking only when the mood strikes.
Might the handsome and charismatic McIlroy be this generation’s version of Norman, who became known as well as finishing second at The Masters as his two major championships?
With the hour growing late in his athletic prime, McIlroy obviously hears the clock ticking on the time for him to add important chapters to his legacy.
“I feel like I've been golf's ‘Nearly Man’ for the last three years,” McIlroy said earlier this month, after finishing fifth at the Olympic tournament in France.
“I obviously want that tide to turn and go from the ‘Nearly Man’ to back to winning golf tournaments. It's all well and good saying I'm close and close and close. Once I actually step through the threshold and turn these near misses and close calls into wins, that's what I need to do.”
We certainly forgive McIlroy for his tantrum, because golfers are humans, too.
“I get frustrated often,” said Xander Schauffele, currently ranked No. 2 in the world. “I quickly try to correct myself, just knowing it doesn’t do me well. I don’t operate well when I’m too angry or too happy.”
But if golf is indeed a gentleman’s game, that can’t be only when it’s convenient.
A gentleman is gracious, on both the best of days and in those moments we regret.
We guys know all too well how roiling, boiling testosterone can make fools of us all.
After witnessing that lame, angry toss of a driver in the water, please allow me to say:
Welcome to the club, Rory.
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