Noah’s Ark review – Old Testament’s got talent in biblical kids’ animation

The Bible meets Sing in this musical kids’ animation from Brazil that reimagines the animals on Noah’s ark competing in a talent contest. After 96 minutes, you might well be praying for their extinction. It’s frantically zany with plenty of hyperactive energy, but hopelessly low on originality. Presumably, it’s set in Old Testament times, but there are TikTok gags here and not-funny-enough jokes for adults about fake news.

That said, it begins not too badly at all with a pair of wisecracking musician mice, Tom and Vini, earwigging as God delivers his proclamation to Noah to build the ark. There’s a funny moment where Noah points out the numerous plot holes in the biblical story. How will the animals fit on one boat? Won’t they eat each other? What about the ones who live in cold climates? Noah’s granddaughter thinks God is overworked: “He’s lost it!”

On the big day, as the animals board two by two, only one of the mice makes it on to the ark. Below deck, things quickly turn nasty, when menacing lion Baruk (just like Scar in The Lion King) declares himself lord of the ark. “We’ve been invited to the world’s greatest all-you-can-eat buffet,” he purrs to his underling hyenas and rattlesnakes. Though what happens next is not a massacre but a talent contest, organised for reasons I didn’t quite catch. The animation is perfectly adequate, but, really, this feels timed to arrive in cinemas at the end of the school holidays, cashing in on parents’ desperation for something, anything, to fill 96 minutes of the day.

• Noah’s Ark is in UK and Irish cinemas from 23 August, and Australian cinemas from 3 October.