He called it a “star-studded telethon to cure America of late-stage Trump”.
One of the stars was Stevie Wonder, who told the crowd that he loved them from on stage. “Usually he just calls to say that,” Colbert quipped.
Former president Bill Clinton also spoke after reportedly making some last-minute changes, ripping up a draft of his speech after night one so that he could adopt a “more fun, youthful approach”. Colbert joked: “That’s cool, but a more youthful approach is what got him into trouble back in the 1990s.”
Clinton pointed out that he just turned 78, which means that he is still younger than Donald Trump. “It’s just hard to tell as Clinton is ageing naturally and Trump looks like he sleeps on one of those 7-Eleven hotdog rollers,” he said.
Next came a “simple former Chicago resident” also known as Oprah Winfrey. Colbert said that this season, her “favourite things include a functioning democracy, reproductive rights and a Phillips 3000 series brand air fryer”.
Pete Buttigieg then brought down the house as he “laid into Trump and took a special moment to take down JD Vance”. Buttigieg said that “at least Mike Pence was polite”. Colbert agreed, saying that “on January 6 he said thank you for the offer but I’m allergic to rope”.
Buttigieg told the crowd that by picking Vance, it “sends a message” to the American people. Colbert said the message would be “you better Scotchguard the White House upholstery”.
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers opened by talking about how this week’s convention saw the Democrats formally nominate Kamala Harris and Tim Walz as the presidential and vice-presidential candidates.
He showed footage of Lil Jon performing Turn Down for What live as celebration. “The music for Biden was just gonna be the ‘game over’ noise from Mario Brothers,” he joked.
This week has also seen news that Trump is reportedly open to giving Robert F Kennedy Jr a position in his cabinet if he agrees to end his campaign. “Like what – secretary of the interior?” Meyers asked. “That guy thinks the endangered species list is a menu.”
Last week, Chuck Schumer spoke at a Crypto for Harris event, leading Meyers to quip: “Nothing quite like a guy who still uses a flip phone talking about the future of cryptocurrency.”
This week has seen the Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall turning 68, to which Meyers joked, in character: “Sixty-eight? Call me when it’s time for 69!”
Starbucks has also announced that it’s about to be pumpkin spice season again, and Meyers said this season there would be three sizes: “tall, vente and Ashley”.
A study has also shown that a large number of dog owners use their pets as therapists, but Meyers said that was “mostly because their cat won’t accept their insurance”.
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