‘I can never turn down a turndown’: why hotels are my favourite part of any holiday

There really is nothing quite like a hotel. Holiday accommodation comes in many different flavours these days – from staying in a stranger’s spare room to renting a fancy house. But a hotel is different: it’s stepping into a different world, where different rules apply. People do stuff for you. There is food. There is drink. If you want, there is food and drink, delivered to your room. There are turndowns. There are drench showers. There is the simple pleasure of the “do not disturb” sign, and its virtuous twin, “please clean”.

A good hotel can make a holiday – heck, a good hotel can be the holiday. I once lived in a Dublin hotel for two weeks for work-related reasons and I’m not going to lie: it was brilliant, and what I imagine being a minor member of royalty feels like.

You don’t even have to fly halfway around the globe to enjoy a hotel: some of the best in the world are right here in the UK and Ireland, destinations in their own right with the option to explore the city they’re in as much or as little as you like, depending on your mood.

Of course, where you stay matters. Hotels at their best are brilliant, but not all are. Hilton, however, brings a reassuring certainty to the table. Wherever you stay in the world, you’ll be treated to quality, relaxed service as standard, leaving you free to enjoy great hotel pleasures, such as …

The lavish hotel breakfast
For obvious financial and logistical reasons, I have never had a buffet breakfast at home. Nobody has. And yet buffet breakfasts are amazing. This, in a nutshell, is why hotels are great: a lavish, option-heavy breakfast served for several hours with no cooking required on your part is in itself pretty much the greatest vindication of the hotel that there is. Almost every hotel of note is going to have a fair buffet, but if you want to eat the most important meal of the day in truly magnificent surrounds, consider The Waldorf Hilton, London or Edinburgh’s equally magnificent The Caledonian Edinburgh, Curio Collection by Hilton – both iconic buildings from the early 1900s. You better believe they’ll do your eggs how you want them; you better believe breakfast cocktails are a thing, if that’s what you’re into: it’s a hotel! The rules are different.

Treat yourself to a suite
One great thing about not actually needing to fly around the planet in order to stay in a nice hotel is, from a certain point of view, you have saved money. And you’ve done a wonderful thing for Earth by not boarding a plane. So with all that in mind, you absolutely deserve to treat yourself to a fancy suite to make your stay all the more special. Enjoy an unforgettable view of the London skyline from one of the many suites at London Hilton on Park Lane or, for something on a smaller scale, upgrade your boutique experience at Hart Shoreditch, Curio Collection by Hilton for a modest sum and thank yourself when you get there. If you’re going to spend all day at the hotel – and at a good hotel you should want this – you deserve a special room.

Get seriously relaxed at a spa and pool
Hotels are, on the whole, pretty big buildings, which means they can fit in considerably more facilities than the average rental property. On the fun side, we’re talking about world-class spas and fully heated indoor swimming pools that it would be rude not to take advantage of. If you’re looking for a country retreat in ultra-comfort, try the spa pool and sauna at Hilton London Syon Park , on the edge of the Syon Park estate in west London. The splendid Hilton Bournemouth combines beautiful coastal views of the outside with heated pools inside – the British seaside experience perfected!

Enjoy a world-class executive lounge
Sometimes you end up in a hotel on business, and as long as you end up in a nice hotel on business then that’s just great: if you’re going to have to work anyway, a breakfast buffet is fair compensation. The best hotels also include great executive lounges to work from, if you’re a Diamond Hilton Honors member: at Hilton Newcastle Gateshead , there are complimentary drinks and snacks all day and a reception every evening; at the Hilton London Metropole , the east London-inspired lounge offers canapes, high-tech coffee facilities and a happy hour for those that way inclined. Whether you’re there for corporate travel or pure holidaying, you’ll find these hotels are just the business.

Take in an unforgettable view
Good for you if you live in a beautiful mountain village or a Manhattan penthouse, but most of us do not have the joy of waking up to a heart-stoppingly beautiful view every morning. A great hotel often offers you this pleasure, either because it’s been built somewhere special or simply because it’s very tall. One of Hilton’s most atmospheric locations, DoubleTree by Hilton London – Docklands Riverside , is a 17th-century building that properly overlooks the river and offers jaw-dropping terrace views of Canary Wharf at night (with a dedicated free ferry there). If you want to do the old-school sky-high thing, head to the 23rd floor of Hilton Manchester Deansgate and enjoy cocktails in Cloud 23. It’s the highest bar in the city and has unparalleled views over the metropolis (or possibly the inside of a cloud, but when do you get to see that at home?).

Your turn for a turndown? Hilton has more than 170 hotels across the UK and Ireland. Click here to book