Ryan Reynolds reflects on his relationship with late father who had Parkinson’s disease

Ryan Reynolds has opened up about his late father, who had Parkinson’s disease, and how it affected their relationship.

The 47-year-old actor reflected on his bond with his father James Reynolds, who died in 2015, in an essay for People published on August 14. In the essay, he prefaced that while his father wasn’t someone who “shared his feelings,” he was still a “present” parent in his children’s lives.

However, according to Ryan, he struggled when his father – who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 1995 – started to have more hallucinations and delusions. He detailed his feelings at the time, describing how he thought that his dad was “losing his mind.”

“My father was really slipping down a rabbit hole where he was struggling to differentiate between reality and fiction,” the Deadpool star wrote. “And subsequently everyone else in his life was losing the bedrock faith and trust that they had on his point of view.”

He expressed that there “would be conspiratorial webs” that caused his father to “spin” with fears about someone being “out to get” him, which “was such a wild departure from the man that” Reynolds knew.

Reynolds shared that he reflected on things differently when his father died, noting that he was “constantly putting pieces of the story together.” He also confessed that he wasn’t “really accepting [his] own responsibility” when he made mistakes throughout their relationship.

“It was very easy for me to dine off the idea that my father and I do not see eye to eye on anything and that an actual relationship with him is impossible. And as I’m older now, I look back at it, and I think of it more as that was my unwillingness at the time to meet him where he was,” he wrote. “I could have maybe been there with him toward the end, and I wasn’t. He and I just drifted apart, and that’s something I’ll live with forever.”

However, the Free Guy star still acknowledged that there were moments when he and his father connected. He recalled that about five months before James died, he sent him a letter that was “basically a list of every amazing thing he ever did” for his son. Still, Reynolds had his regrets about not being by his father’s side when he passed.

“So I’m super grateful that I sent that letter. I know for a fact it meant the world to him,” he wrote. “So I did get that closure, but I wasn’t with him when he passed away, and I do wish I was.”

Reynolds also praised his mother, Tammy, for supporting James throughout his Parkinson’s disease, as common symptoms can include tremors and movements that are slower than usual . He believed his mother “lived a life of true isolation” with her husband, who was “not necessarily speaking from their baseline or right mental state.”

“My mom was a backboard for my father during that time, but it really broke her,” he explained. “Caregiver fatigue is very real — it’s one of probably the most unreported side effects of diseases like this. I wish the resources that are available now to treat that part of Parkinson’s existed, or at least we knew about it then, because it would’ve really given a lot of hope.”

Reynolds concluded his essay by acknowledging that his relationship with his father has impacted his perspective on parenting, as he shares four children – James, nine, Inez, seven, Betty, four, and Olin, one – with his wife Blake Lively.

He went on to praise his father’s “incredible integrity” and how he wants to continue to show up in his children’s lives, just like his parents did for him. Reynolds also pointed out that while his parenting style is different from his father’s, their relationship has continued to be shaped by the dynamics he now has with his children.

“When my kid is acting out or telling me I’m the worst — my dad would retreat into the power of silence, and that is not the way to acknowledge your kid,” the Green Lantern star explained. “So to be able to get down on their level and just tell them that I believe them and that I’m here for them... I’m like, “Oh, okay. I just weirdly didn’t mean to, but I fixed something with my own dad.’”

This isn’t the first time that Reynolds has opened up about his complicated relationship with his father. During an interview with Mr. Porter in 2018, he credited his wife for helping him reconcile with James before he died. He also acknowledged that he and his wife decided to name their first child after her grandfather.

“It felt right. All family relationships come with some complications,” he said during the interview at the time, per Entertainment Tonight . “At the end of the day, it’s easier to focus on the good stuff than the bad. My father died soon after my daughter was born, but he got to see her, which makes me happy.”