El Gordo

From the same team behind Marietta’s Birria el Gordo, this taco restaurant in Uptown has faux marble tables with leather booths and an obligatory neon sign (it’s a multicolored skull, which we begrudgingly admit is actually kind of cool). Good luck if your phone is on 1% because this is one of those venues where you order everything by phone. Or maybe call it your lucky day, since mostly everything from the $5 street tacos with criminally under-seasoned meat to the painfully plain toro bravo is forgettable. Also skip the hard, super thick chips and queso unless you’d like to pay for dental work. The best things here are the quesabirrias, which have tender, stewed beef and a nice cheesy crunch. Since there’s a full bar, we can co-sign El Gordo as a place to wet your whistle with a standard marg, but not much else.