Parents can help make the first day of kindergarten a great one

Over two days this week, some 2,200 youngsters will start kindergarten in Johnston County’s public schools.

How they fare that day will depend on the child and his or her family, said Melissa Johnson, manager of kindergarten transition for the Johnston County Partnership for Children. “Every family and child is different,” she said in an email.

Still, the most important skills for every kindergartner are social-emotional and self-help skills, Johnson said. “Some things to work on would be making sure that your child is able to go to the bathroom independently, follow directions, share with their peers, etc.,” she said, offering parents some advice.

Some children will find that easier than others, Johnson said. “Children that have attended preschool have already learned most of these skills,” she said. “Children that have not attended preschool may have a harder time with transitions and skills that require more structure and independence.”

The weeks before the start of school are big, Johnson said. “It is important leading up to school to make sure children are getting plenty of rest and eating healthy foods,” she said. “Establishing a routine and sleep schedule can be very beneficial to the child and family.”

It’s also important to appreciate the moment, said Meredith Fordham, who taught kindergarten in Johnston County for 12 years. “Starting kindergarten is a major milestone in a child’s life,” she said. “They have been hearing about kindergarten for quite a while, and it is now their time to go to ‘big school.’ ”

“In the days leading up to kindergarten, spend time making special memories,” said Fordham, now a K-2 curriculum coach in the Johnston County Public School. “Go to the park, play outside, read books together, have a movie night. Do all of the fun things that kids love.”

But like Johnson, Fordham said it was important to establish routines for the school nights and mornings to come. “Help build independence with getting dressed by themselves, opening their own snacks and drinks, and using the bathroom independently,” she said. “Kindergarten teachers will always be there to help, but independence will help out tremendously.”

The night before the first day of kindergarten is a big one too, Johnson said. “It’s important to make sure students get a good night’s sleep,” she said. “It is also important to spend time talking to your child about what to expect on their first day of kindergarten. Help ease their worries by answering any of their questions to the best of your ability.”

Johnson agreed. “Make sure your child goes to bed early and gets plenty of rest,” she said. “Have their book bag packed and ready to go for the next day. Remind them of what to expect and talk about all of the fun things they will be doing and learning.

“We want them to be excited about going to school, learning and making new friends.”

Next comes the big day.

“Give yourself plenty of time in the morning to get ready, eat a good breakfast and take some special pictures,” Fordham said.

Like Fordham, Johnson said neither parent nor child wants to be harried on the first day.

“Make sure you wake up on time and don’t have to rush,” she said. “Rushing can make you and your child more anxious and you will feel less prepared.”

“A good breakfast is key,” Johnson said. “It’s hard for children to learn when they’re hungry.”

Of course, not every family can afford breakfast.

“If you are unable to provide breakfast, speak with your school about the breakfast options they offer,” Johnson said.

Beyond providing a good night’s sleep and a healthy breakfast, parents can offer words of encouragement, Johnson said. “Remember to be positive and help your child be excited and less nervous,” she said. “It can be scary and overwhelming for some children, especially those that have never been in any kind of school setting. Be positive and reassuring.”

Many parents will walk their child into school the first day of kindergarten, Fordham said. “Parents should not plan on walking into school until the first bell rings,” she said. “Once you get to the classroom, help your student unpack, take a few special pictures, give them lots of love and then head on out. It is often harder for students when parents linger around.”

Parents who walk their kindergartner into the classroom shouldn’t fret too much about separation anxiety, Johnson said. “Separation anxiety can be common, and it is usually harder on the parent,” she said. “If your child is crying and grabbing onto you, the teacher will usually come talk to the child.

“It is best to reassure your child that you will see them later and let them go to the teacher. Most often the child settles down and is working on an activity before the parent leaves the school.”

Fordham agreed. “Once the teacher is able to assist, go ahead and scoot on out of the classroom,” she said. “In most situations, students will calm down very quickly with a few hugs and distractions from the classroom teacher.”

Some kids feel separation anxiety later, Johnson said. “Children may be really excited the first few days and show no upset at all,” she said. “They may suddenly start to show signs of separation after a short period of time.”

But again, parents shouldn’t worry too much, Johnson said. “Most often this is not a sign that there is anything wrong with the child or in the classroom,” she said.

That first afternoon home from kindergarten can be tricky, Johnson said. “Some children are super excited and tell you all about their day,” she said. “Some children may say ‘Nothing’ or ‘I just played,’ and you have to ask more probing questions.”

“When you ask questions, try to ask about a specific thing from the day,” Johnson said. “This will help guide the conversation.”

She offered some suggestions:

• What did you have for lunch?

• What books did you read today?

• What activity did you do during enhancement time? (That’s music, art, etc.)

“Ask open-ended questions versus yes/no questions to get more information,” Johnson added. “This should help open the conversation.”

Fordham encouraged parents to greet their child with a smile that afternoon. “It is OK for parents to ask about the new friends their child made and their favorite parts of the day,” she said. But “don’t be surprised if your child is cranky and exhausted when they get home from school. It has been a big day for them, and they will need rest. Try not to schedule too much for after school that day.”

Despite the best efforts of parents and teachers, not every child will have a good day, though the signs of a poor day can vary from child to child, Johnson said. “The key is to make sure that you have clear communication with the teacher,” she said. Also, “try to remain positive and encouraging.”

Fordham offered similar advice. “Kindergarten can be very overwhelming for students,” she said. “Many have never been to preschool or left their parents for long periods of time. The transition to kindergarten may not happen overnight. Be patient and stay consistent with routines and attendance.”

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