A woman with a “unique sense of style” has been left feeling “hurt” after her sister asked her to change her appearance to fit in with her “classic, elegant” wedding aesthetic.
The 30-year-old woman was delighted when her younger sister, Amy, asked her to be her maid of honor. Ahead of the big day, she’s “been super involved in the planning” and has assisted with dress shopping, helped with invitations, and even threw Amy, 28, a bridal shower.
The sisters have always been especially close so it was a foregone conclusion that she’d be her younger sibling’s maid-of-honor .
The wedding planning has turned sour, though, after Amy asked her big sister to make some dramatic alterations to her appearance in anticipation of her special day. Taking to social commentary site Reddit ’s popular Am I The A**hole (AITA) thread, user @madieexlopez shared she currently has bright blue hair, a few visible tattoos and a nose piercing.
Her sense of style is a “big part of who she is” and in the past, little sister Amy “has never had a problem with it” but a couple of weeks ago, she confessed she wanted the Redditor to “tone down” her look and “specifically, dye my hair back to a natural colour, cover my tattoos, and take out my nose ring”.
The “hurt” woman continued: “She said she wants a 'classic, elegant' wedding and doesn’t think my current look fits with that aesthetic. I was pretty hurt because I’ve always been myself, and it felt like she was asking me to change who I am for her big day. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with making those changes, but I’d still love to be her maid of honour.
“Well, Amy wasn’t happy. She basically said it’s her wedding , and as her maid of honor, I should be willing to make a small sacrifice for one day. When I refused, she said if I couldn’t do that, she’d rather have someone else as her maid of honour. So… I told her I’d step down.”
This has led to fall outs and “uproar” within the family, with many saying Amy’s wishes should be granted as @madieexlopez could simply dye her hair back to blue after the wedding. Her brother-in-law to be even called her “selfish” for refusing to alter her look for his bride.
Amy isn’t currently speaking to her sister and has even asked one of her friends to step up as maid-of-honour instead, leaving the Redditor feeling torn and confused. She added: “I feel really conflicted because I don’t want to hurt my sister or ruin her wedding , but I also feel like she’s asking too much of me.”
Fellow Redditors flocked to the comments section to share their thoughts, ultimately concluding that she was unequivocally not the a**hole. One said: “I'm guessing your mom doesn't dye her hair on a regular basis. It's not as simple as dyeing it and then changing it back afterward.
“Your sister asked you to be her maid-of-honor knowing about your hair and tattoos. If she cares that much about aesthetic, she should have thought about it before asking you.”
Another played devil’s advocate and said: “To be honest there is a middle ground here. Dyeing hair is a big ask, but OP [original poster] could always do a wig or something instead. I [think] caring about wedding aesthetics is completely fine, as long as your ask is reasonable, not that different from the requirement at, say, a specific company having a dress code.
“Dyeing the hair specifically is not a reasonable ask. But a specific colour of clothes, or wanting to hide a prominent tattoo with say a long sleeve is acceptable because it's temporary and low effort.”
A third commented: “You're not a prop in someone's big day. You are a person, a loved one, a participant.” And another said: “Mom says OP should comply to avoid drama. Why doesn't mom tell the bride to act reasonable and avoid drama?”
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