Trump Invents Wild Election Fantasy About Biden, Harris, and Clinton

Donald Trump invented some more fanfiction about the presidential election Friday, imagining a world where Kamala Harris was replaced as the Democratic candidate.

During a scattered anti-immigrant rant at a rally in Aurora, Colorado, Trump seemed particularly out of it as he cascaded from one subject to another, turning suddenly back to his complaint that Harris should not have replaced President Joe Biden as the Democratic nominee.

“She shouldn’t be the one who was chosen anyway, because she is, in fact, by the way they chose her, a threat to democracy,” Trump said.

“And just in case you didn’t know it: Biden … hates her,” Trump shouted.

“I believe there is a small possibility—very small, like 1 percent—there is a 1 percent possibility he hates her more than he hates Donald Trump. I think he hates her,” he rambled.

“He went way, way down. And I thought it was over. And then—it’s like a fighter—then they put a new person in, her. And we don’t know anything about her. We have to—and now we learned, and now the people are learning, and she’s crashing like a rock,” Trump babbled.

The former president had clearly lost his train of thought before perking up again.

“Uh oh! I just thought. Just a thought—from a very brilliant mind—they might want to put a third person in tha—oh, no!

“Please be nice to Kamala, to my people, I’m telling,” Trump said incoherently, implying that she might exit the race if they were too hard on her. (This would be impossible, as both parties have passed the deadline to change their ticket lineup.) “Everybody that’s on the Trump team, be—be nice to Kamala! Because they’re going to put in a third person.

“Let’s see, who are they gonna put in next?” Trump asked the crowd, which shouted names in reply.

“They keep saying ‘Hillary,’” Trump said, feigning shock. “Hillary’s coming! Hillary’s back!”

Trump went on to whine that Hillary Clinton had “serious Trump Derangement Syndrome,” because she still speaks about the 2016 presidential election, which Trump had already talked about during his speech that day. “She talks about it all the time,” he whined.

Then Trump actually tried to brag about how outrageously off-topic his rant had become.

“Isn’t it fun. Isn’t it nice—cause I haven’t looked at these stupid things in about 15 minutes—isn’t it nice to have a president that doesn’t need a teleprompter? Isn’t that nice?” he asked.

If anything, Trump’s winding speech should be a warning about the risks of not using a teleprompter.