When Your Wedding Day Is Also Election Day (or Close to It)

Shannon Hendrickson and Drew Fitzmaurice have thought through every detail of their wedding, which will take place on Nov. 2 in Scituate, Massachusetts.

For the venue, they chose Barker House, a historic building where Hendrickson’s parents were married. There will be lawn games, passed hors d’oeuvres and decor that includes touches of white and light pink, said Hendrickson, 34, a teacher who lives in Marshfield, Massachusetts, with Fitzmaurice, 33, who works in sales.

And there will be something else: signs telling guests they are in a “no politics zone.”

Their wedding will take place three days before the presidential election. With 169 guests joining from all over the country and world — some of whom the couple hasn’t talked to in some time — there is likely to be a mix of viewpoints.

So instead of taking the chance that conversations veer into heated territory, they are trying to stop it from the get-go. “We are going to put it out there that this day is not the day to talk about the election,” Hendrickson said. “You can do that tomorrow.”

It’s an idea she got from a bride who is getting married the weekend after the election.

Fall weddings have become more popular in recent years, according to a wedding survey by The Knot. And many couples marrying this fall face a singular challenge: How to navigate perhaps the most contentious U.S. presidential election yet on what is supposed to be their happiest day.

Discouraging political talk, as Hendrickson and Fitzmaurice hope to, could prove difficult, said Landis Bejar, a wedding therapist based in Atlanta. “If Election Day is within a week, it might be impossible,” she said.

It could also backfire: “Sometimes, especially in a large group, asking people not to do a thing means you’re reminding people of the thing,” she said.

Bejar said that if couples did want to make this request, adding levity could help. She recommends saying something like: “We know it might be hard, but let’s try to check our politics at the door just for today,” or even giving guests other conversational prompts.

Jules Martinez Hirst, a wedding etiquette expert based in Culver City, California, recommended phrasing like, “A lot is going on in the world right now, but we’d love for our wedding to be about what really matters — love and togetherness.”

Some couples marrying just after the election are worried that, whatever the outcome, election depression will cast a shadow.

Although they are tying the knot almost two weeks after Election Day, Dena Skeadas, 31, and George Panagopoulos, 37, who live in the Boston suburbs, know that some of their 250 guests will still be preoccupied.

“We have a pretty politically diverse guest list, so my biggest concern is no matter how the election turns out, there are going to be some folks at our wedding who aren’t celebrating,” Skeadas said.

She’s also worried there will be turmoil or violence around the country in the aftermath: “It’s scary to think about the effects of certain outcomes, and how people are going to react, and how the countries in the world are going to react,” she said.

But she hopes that whatever state the world is in, her wedding will provide a respite. “We are going to be surrounded by so much love,” she said.

Starla Oatman, 29, a bartender and boutique owner in Fort Worth, is marrying Todd Bacon, 50, a construction inspector, on Election Day in Estes Park, Colorado. She said one of her fiance’s relatives has been using the fact that she has to communicate with guests about the wedding to remind them to vote early. “I think it’s important,” the bride said of voting.

Katie Newell, 24, who lives in Bonnie, Illinois, and works in a children’s ministry, and Elijah Gallinger, 24, a musician who lives in Mount Vernon, Illinois, hesitated before agreeing to a Nov. 5 wedding, one of the few days available given family and venue limitations.

They went through their concerns: Would guests be scrolling for news while the couple were saying their vows? (They decided to marry at 3 p.m., before any results came in.) Would they be preventing people from voting? (Most guests live in states that allow for early voting.)

Would guests get into political arguments? “I think there will be people on both sides, but I don’t think anybody will cause any crazy trouble,” Newell said.

Ultimately, the couple settled on not serving alcohol. As the bride put it, “We thought maybe not having liquid truth running through people’s veins on Election Day is a good idea.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times .