A really bad day: I ran over my dog

Ever had a really bad day? Yeah, me too.

A little over a month ago, I ran over my dog. Well, technically, my car rolled onto him, I realized what was happening and I backed up. It was as terrible and scary as you’re imagining.

My sweet pup’s name is Teddy. He’s one of those dogs that sort of appears from nowhere and you just know they are meant to be yours. Teddy is 14 and he’s a true gem. He’s loyal and loving and gentle, but will also let you know if someone or something is in the yard that does not belong. He is truly the very best dog!

A few days before what we will call “the terrible incident,” he had been having trouble standing up. His back legs were giving out sometimes, so we had gone to the vet to get him some medicine. He had not been getting under my car that week because it was too hard for him to get back out with the leg issues.

When we got in my car that day, I looked around and thought I saw him under my husband’s truck. I was obviously mistaken, and within seconds of getting in the vehicle to go to lunch, things went downhill fast. The car rocked, Teddy yelped, and panic filled my body faster than it probably ever has before.

I jumped out after backing up and Teddy had managed to get up and was walking, but with a limp. He went to a different spot in the yard and laid down. He was obviously in pain, but I wasn’t sure what was injured or how severe it was. A friend was with me and, unfortunately, so were my kids.

Have you ever had to deal with big emotions in front of your kids? I think it’s one of the most challenging things we have to do as parents. I didn’t want to scare them, but internally I was panicking.

Yet, in that moment, I truly wasn’t ready to sit down and cry. I wanted someone to tell me my dog was going to be okay. I wanted a vet to be willing to see him that same day. I wanted to figure out what to do to help him. I proceeded to call my husband and every vet I could think of.

Unfortunately, no one could see him until the next day. However, we did already have pain medicine because of the back leg issues and he was able to walk, so everyone’s advice was to let him rest and bring him the next day. We moved him in the house to wait for the vet appointment the next morning.

I tell the clients I work with that unprocessed emotions always come back up if you don’t let them process through in the moment. If you don’t give them air time immediately, you will for sure be giving them air time down the road. Emotions must be processed.

The day of “the terrible incident,” I did not have the time or capacity to let my emotions out, but the next morning? Oh boy! They came out with a vengeance. I woke up early and immediately began to panic. The thoughts swirled like a tornado — “What if Teddy didn’t make it through the night? What if we’ve just made him suffer for nothing? What if one of the kids already checked on him before me? What if I killed my dog?”

And then the tears fell, and I let them. I haven’t cried that hard in a long time. I cried and cried and cried. I was too scared to go look. My whole body was shaking. It’s not a fun puddle to sit in, but I knew my anxiety and my guilt and my fear all needed to be felt. They needed their air time, so I gave it to them.

My husband got up not long after that, and we went to check on Teddy together. He was okay! Still alive, but definitely uncomfortable. We made it to the vet, and it turned out he had two hairline fractures in two different ribs and a third rib was broken. Not great news, but it certainly could have been worse!

Now, a month and a half later, Teddy’s doing even better than he was before “the terrible incident” and so am I. Healing wounds and healing hearts takes time, but it’s always worth it on the other side. And while I already knew it was true, this experience validated my belief that emotions must have air time. They must be processed.

Avoiding my emotions led me to avoiding Teddy and not wanting to show up for him out of fear. Embracing my emotions led me to be the best supporter I could be! I wouldn’t have gotten to that point if I was still sitting around beating myself up for what happened. I would have continued to avoid him when he needed me the most.

I had to give myself a lot of grace for a significant mistake so that I could show up and be Teddy’s biggest cheerleader on his road to recovery! And isn’t that something we all need — grace? More grace for each other and sometimes more importantly, more grace for ourselves.

Maybe there’s a situation or emotion you’ve been avoiding. If so, I strongly encourage you to go feel your feelings for a while. It’s not always fun, but it is always worth it.