NEW BEDFORD — Friday is Coming Out Day, a personal and often difficult decision, but a crucial role in achieving equality and understanding for the LGBTQ+ community.
"We make progress in the world when people understand that people are people, and gay people are just like everyone else," said Andrew Pollock, president of SouthCoast LGBTQ+ Network.
For Pollock, coming out is about breaking down the barriers that have marginalized the LGBTQ+ community for years. "By living your life as an authentic person, you are showing the world that you have the same biology and psychology as everyone else," he said.
"We are not looking for special rights, we are looking for equal rights where we can attain status, safety, employment, and a high-quality community where we live and work."
The SouthCoast LGBTQ+ Network offers various opportunities and resources for individuals to get involved and support the community. The Network has opportunities for people to volunteer, to give back to the community, and to help those who are struggling see that there is support out there for them.
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"Living your authentic self is very powerful and healthy," he said. "Not only for yourself, but also for those around you. When you're hiding something or not being completely honest, people can sense it. But when you are open and honest, people can feel that as well."
For those who may not be ready to come out, the SouthCoast LGBTQ+ Network offers confidential resources and services. "We understand that coming out is a personal and often challenging decision, and we offer confidential support and resources for individuals who may not be ready to publicly come out but still need assistance," Pollock added.
In addition, the SouthCoast LGBTQ+ Network also hosts social events that serve as a welcoming and safe space for individuals to explore and embrace their identity. "We encourage those who may not be ready to come out to join us at our social events," Pollock said.
"It is a great way to dip your feet into the water and connect with others in the community."
National stats about 'Coming Out' in the LGBTQ+ community in 2024
According to a probability-based Gallup Panel surve y, in May 2024, a majority of LGBTQ+ adults came out by the age of 22. Eighteen percent of LGBTQ+ respondents say they have never come out to anyone. The youngest LGBTQ+ adults, those ages 18 to 29, came out at a median age of 17, while those ages 30 to 49 and 50 to 64 came out in their early 20s.
In a National Coming Out Day Youth Report , 61% of participants said they were out at school. However, "out youth" were slightly more likely to experience harassment at school. LGBTQ+ youth who come out before age 13 have higher odds of suicide risk and victimization. In a Trevor Project study , 56% of LGBTQ+ youth who came out before age 13 seriously considered suicide in the past year, compared to 42% of those who came out later.
In a Pew Research Center survey , 59% of LGBTQ+ adults said they told at least one parent about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Most said the process was difficult, but that it either strengthened their relationship or didn't change it.
Other community leaders honor the importance of 'Coming Out Day'
Mandy Fraser, co-founder of the Queer Arts Council of New Bedford, is also celebrating her fifth wedding anniversary on Friday with her partner Nicole Pupillo.
"We had a very small, family-only ceremony and chose Oct. 11 because it was Coming Out Day," said Fraser, who is also chair of the AHA! Pride Committee, 3rdEyE Youth Empowerment’s visual arts coordinator and part of the Diversity and Inclusion Committee for the Rotch-Jones-Duff House in New Bedford.
"It’s an important day for the visibility of queer people existing and living open and free lives. In choosing a specific day, there’s also the solidarity and camaraderie of knowing you are not alone in doing so."
For Donnie Anderson, a well-respected LGBTQ+ activist and pastor at The United Church of Christ in New Bedford, she said this day holds great significance as she reflects on her own coming-out journey.
Anderson, who previously served as the pastor at the First Baptist Church of East Greenwich and later on the RI State Council of Churches as the executive minister until 2020, came out publicly as a transgender woman at 69 years old.
She switched her credential with the American Baptist Church to the United Church of Christ.
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“When I came out, I knew that there weren’t going to be many opportunities in churches within the American Baptist denomination that would accept a transgender woman,” Anderson said. “But I saw the United Church of Christ as a more welcoming and accepting place for me to continue my ministry.”
Sharing different perspectives about religion and coming out as LGBTQ+
Anderson said she uses National Coming Out Day as a time to reflect on her journey and celebrate living her true and honest self.
“Coming Out Day means, to me, a way to be able to be full and honest about your personhood,” Anderson said. “By embracing my true self, I am able to understand and celebrate the lives of others as well.”
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As a pastor, she acknowledges the struggles of others who are in the process of coming out, especially within religious communities where their identities are seen as unacceptable. She offers support and guidance to those who are struggling and aims to provide a safe and inclusive space for them.
“I have conversations with people all the time, especially about the intersection of faith and sexuality,” Anderson said. “I often talk to individuals who come from Christian traditions where the LGBTQ+ community is seen as sinful and need to repent. I don’t try to convince them of anything, but I offer a different perspective for them to consider.”
Anderson also ensures that her church, The United Church of Christ in New Bedford, is a safe and welcoming space for the LGBTQ+ community.
“Our services are always fully inclusive, and our leadership is public about their own support for the LGBTQ+ community,” Anderson said.
“To anyone who is thinking about coming out, take your time and do it in a way that feels right for you,” Anderson said. “Remember that there is no right or wrong way to come out, and you are not alone.”
On this Coming Out Day, both Anderson and Pollock echo a time to celebrate the progress that has been made in the realm of LGBTQ+ rights, and hope people see that as a way to continue to support and uplift those who are working towards living their authentic selves.
"We are all equal, and by coming out, we can create a more inclusive and understanding world for all," Pollock said.
Standard-Times staff writer Seth Chitwood can be reached at schitwood@s-t.com . Find out more about him at sethchitwood.com . Support local journalism by purchasing a digital or print subscription to The Standard-Times today.
This article originally appeared on Standard-Times: 'Living your authentic self is very powerful': Local LGBTQ+ leaders honor Coming Out Day
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