I’m a health visitor that drops by after you’ve had a baby – mess is expected but 4 mistakes are a big no-no

IT’S a whole new world once you have become a mum for the first time - and at times it can naturally leave you feeling a bit out of your depth.

From getting to grips with the feeding, to dealing with postpartum hormones, the parenting game is one big learning process.

But one health visitor - who would usually visit you at home for the first time around 10 days after your baby is born - wants to put parents' minds at ease.

Ruth, who goes by the name of @ruthwattshv on TikTok, has been sharing some helpful advice on her social media page - and her videos have since gone viral.

A health visitor - which is a qualified nurse or midwife who has had extra training - is there to help you and your new baby stay healthy.

They are there to identify any health needs as early as possible, and to check up on how you and your infant are doing, to ensure you have the support that is needed early on.

But some new parents may find the process stressful, and may feel that they are not doing well enough.

Talking to camera Ruth, who is a mum herself, explained exactly what she is looking for when she visits and what is considered to be a “messy house.”

She says: “I’m going to be honest here, we are all humans.

“My house is in a state right now.

“It’s the middle of the summer holidays, I have piles and piles of washing upstairs.

“I haven’t cleaned the bathroom in weeks and the kitchen counters usually always have dirty dishes in them.

“We are not looking for a spectalary, immaculate house.

“I am just trying to make the point that actually, a bit of mess is completely normal.”

When Ruth visits somebody's house, she documents who is present at the contact and what state the house is in but “not necessarily tidiness.”

She then goes on to ask: “What does tidy and untidy mean in a court of law anyway?”

Hanging washing

Ruth continues: “I like to document plenty of clear floor space for the children to play.

“I’m not interested in your washing hanging out. I’m impressed you are doing your washing.

“What would concern me probably with a messy house is the walls were in a state, drawn all over, but again I know this does happen. But every single wall trashed.

“Seeing loads of bags of bin liners dirty, or bin liners that haven’t been taken out yet, bags and bags of them.

I haven’t cleaned the bathroom in weeks and the kitchen counters usually always have dirty dishes in them

“Maybe the entire kitchen worktop, nowhere able to put a plate down, again, I know these kinds of things do happen. I’m human as well.

“But it is unusual to see no floor space whatsoever.”

Ruth will also look out for if the child has toys or not.

She says: “I also like to see that there are toys, if there are no toys, I would usually say to a parent, ‘where do you keep all your toys?’ Not for a baby, but toddlers.”

Analysing the seating area is also on Ruth’s list too.

The health visitor says: “I basically like to see the seating areas are accessible, like the sofa for you and your child to sit on.

“There’s a clear enough floor space, there’s toys available and present and that it is clean and tidy enough.”

Ruth finishes the video by reassuring other parents that the house does not need to be immaculate.

She says: “If you’ve had a newborn baby, tidying, cleaning is not your priority.

Household mess

“Have a think about what you would walk into a room and think ‘oh, I wouldn’t want my baby being put down on the floor here.’

“Or, ‘oh this is just a normal household family mess.’”

The video has attracted lots of attention with over 428K views, and many parents rushing to the comments section to share their thoughts, with some also asking additional questions.

One wrote: “Difference between messy and dirty! My living room is full of toys everywhere but still clean.”

A second mum asked: “If you go to see the baby and mum why would you be asking where toddlers' toys are kept? Always wondered about this.”

This comment attracted other mums to reply with one writing: “Possibly to ensure a toddler can access toys safely and not be left alone to play in another room?”

When does a health visitor come?

A health visitor will do a new baby review within 10 to 14 days of the birth.

According to the NHS, parents will be offered regular health visitor checks for your baby until they are around the age of two.

The website states: "Shortly before or after your baby is born, you'll be given a personal child health record (PCHR). This usually has a red cover and is known as the 'red book'.

"It's a good idea to take your baby's red book with you every time you visit the baby clinic or GP.

"They will use it to record your child's weight and height, vaccinations and other important information.

"You can also add information to the red book yourself. You may want to record any illnesses or accidents your baby has, or any medicines they take."

Another added: “My health visitor did a home visit as she thought I was struggling.

“She was shocked and openly told me she thought it was going to be a tip. The only thing was toys on the floor which the kids tipped.”

A third said: “My health visitor said my house was too clean. It actually really triggers me and says it’s worryingly clean.”

Someone else asked: “In England how often do health visitors visit. My daughter is now two, and we haven't seen a health visitor since before she was one.”

Ruth replied: “Next one will be between two to two and half years.”