Parent refuses to pay for daughter's wedding because she's 'too young' and gets called a jerk by son
1 hours ago
Disclosure: State of Alabama-based writer. This article is a work from cited sources for informational purposes and is used with permission. No affiliate links are included.
In a world where family dynamics and societal expectations constantly shift, the topic of marriage remains a source of debate, especially among parents of young adults. A recent post from Reddit user Automatic_Path_3055 has sparked a conversation about the appropriateness of marrying young and the responsibilities of parents in supporting their children’s choices. As residents of Alabama reflect on their own experiences with marriage and family, this discussion provides valuable insights into balancing love, responsibility, and the age-old question of when is the right time to say “I do.”
The Wedding Dilemma
In the Reddit post, the user, who has three children, shares a significant concern regarding his youngest daughter, who has just turned 20 and is currently in college. The daughter recently became engaged to Jim, a 25-year-old who has been out of school for two years.
"I have paid for all my older kids' weddings with basically no strings attached. My two older kids are 26 and 28. The middle child is going to have her wedding when she is 27, and my oldest just had his wedding."
While OP has previously funded weddings for his older children, he feels uneasy about this new relationship. Concerned that Jim is dating someone still in college and was once a teenager when their relationship began, OP decided to take a firm stand.
Upon learning about the engagement, OP sat his daughter down and explained that he would not pay for the wedding until she turns 25. He believes that waiting would allow her to complete her degree and gain some work experience before entering marriage. “If they love each other, it shouldn’t be an issue waiting a few years,” OP reasoned, hoping to provide guidance based on his own life experiences.
However, this decision led to a heated reaction from his daughter, who called her father a jerk. The response from her siblings varied, with the other daughter supporting her father, and the son calling his father's stance unnecessary, suggesting he should go ahead and pay for the wedding.
WinterFrosting860 shared her own experience of marrying young at 22 and later facing a divorce. “Honestly, yup, I got married too young. She should wait,” they advised, reflecting on the challenges of youthful decisions.
OTFYogiGirl echoed this sentiment, recalling her mother's advice: “If you don’t marry before you are 30, the only thing you miss is your first divorce.” She regretted not listening, having gone through a divorce by age 24.
Scottfaracas recalled his father’s advice against marrying before 35, viewing it as the only good guidance he received, particularly given his parents' history of multiple divorces.
Watermelonyuppie acknowledged that while 20 may be too young for marriage, they took issue with the reasoning of “you may regret it.” They argued for the importance of individual autonomy in making life choices, suggesting that concerns about being in school and the short duration of the relationship are more valid reasons for hesitation.
The Takeaway
As this Reddit post illustrates, parents often grapple with how best to guide their children through significant life decisions like marriage. For residents of Alabama, the discussion raises important questions about love, responsibility, and the role of age in making such commitments. Should parents impose conditions on their children's marriages, or should they trust their judgment and offer support regardless of age?
The experiences shared in this conversation invite further reflection on the complexities of love and commitment, reminding us that while every relationship is unique, the wisdom gained from lived experiences can help shape a thoughtful approach to guiding the next generation. What are your thoughts on the matter? Should age play a role in wedding plans, or should young couples be free to choose their paths?
According to a survey conducted by Marriage.com, the average age for women to get married is 25.8 years old, while for men, it is 27.4 years old in Alabama.
Share Your Thoughts Below, Alabama
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it's real real simple the one with the gold makes the rules the Golden rule. it's his money to give to her or not to give to her he don't have to give her a damn thing she should be happy that he would be willing to pay for it when she's 25 sounds like a very entitled child to me and probably a Karen
David Townsend
4m ago
Father's right, and Nvr look a gift horse in the mouth !!!
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