Holding a conversation with somebody we don’t know can be awkward. We’ve all been there – running through the scrambled thoughts in our mind to come up with something witty, relevant, or just something interesting. First dates add extra pressure, and it’s not surprising that many people cancel their plans due to worrying about conversation. This article gives some tips and ideas for charming first-date conversation starters for when you need them most.
7 Top First Date Conversation Starters
Tell Me About Yourself
It’s an oldie but a goodie. It also covers a few bases, the first being that it gives you a glimpse into what the person sitting across from you is like. It also gives your date the freedom to zone in on their positives or interests. Direct questions such as ‘What do you do?’ and ‘What’s your favorite TV show?’ force the other person to pigeonhole their response to suit.
Another good thing about this conversation starter is that it gives your date the chance to talk about things that interest them. When people get to do this, they have an opportunity to shine.
What Are Your Favorite Foods?
Chances are you might be going to a restaurant for your date. It turns out it’s a lot easier to discuss food when surrounded by it. Asking someone about their favorite cuisine might seem pretty straightforward and basic, but it can open up a world of conversation. Your date’s preferences may be because of their nationality or cultural background. Their tastes may be influenced by travel they’ve undertaken or cooking classes they’ve had.
Or it could be they didn’t try something for years due to fear about a particular food and ended up loving it. It's easy to see the reasons why you should include the topic of food in your list of charming first-date conversation starters. It may very well lead to many other topics about the person you're with such as their tastes, hobbies, and travel experience.
Are You a Morning Or Night Person?
Asking someone if they’re more of a morning person or a night owl is another good start to get a conversation rolling into many other directions. The nature of their work or study timetable may determine their hours. Their favorite show may be on late at night, or they may like to go for a run first thing in the morning. Perhaps stargazing is their thing, or they check in daily first thing with a significant person. These are just a few ways a simple question regarding routine can reveal a lot more about a person.
Tell Me About Your Family And Friends
Note that this statement covers both friends and family. This is a good conversation tip as some people don’t have both, or either may be a sensitive topic. They may have recently lost a family member or might be going through a messy argument with a best friend. Giving your date both options lets them decide which one to elaborate on. If it turns out they have a life overflowing with both friends and family, the discussion should be informative and flow easily.
The family and friends topic is often one of the best indicators of how your date views relationships and if there are any red (or amber) flags you might need to be wary of. For this reason, one might say this topic should absolutely be included in your notes for charming first-date conversation starters.
What Is Your Dream Job?
Of course, it might be that your date is lucky enough to work their dream job - and that’s perfectly okay as it allows them to talk about it. Most of us do have a dream career in mind, however, and sometimes it’s not even close to what we’re doing to pay the bills. This is another effective way of getting someone to reveal facets of their personality. They may be a technical thinker or highly academic. Alternatively, they may be more of a hands-on person or a creative type. Whatever their vision is for the perfect occupation, it’ll likely bring a lot about their character to light.
Do You Like To Travel?
The good thing about travel is that it is such a broad topic. It may be that your date travels for work, or their family lives interstate or even overseas. There could be a travel destination they’ve always dreamed about visiting, which often leads to a range of other topics about that location. You might find that you have similar interests regarding travel and culture. Your date may not have the opportunity to travel, or it may turn out they’re a homebody with no aspirations to go abroad. Either way, conversation about travel often grows organically and inspires further themes to chat about.
Where Do You See Yourself In Five, Ten, Twenty Years?
This may sound a little more like a job interview question than a first-date one, but bear with me. There are reasons why this question ranks in the top charming first-date conversation starters. If your dream future involves exploring the Antarctic while your date's is staying at home tending to their hobby farm, they may not be the perfect fit.
Of course, opposites attract and encourage each other to delve into new, previously unchartered territories. Or, it could turn out that you share the same hopes and dreams for the future, which will really get the conversation going. This topic allows for open-ended and broad discussion that continues effortlessly.
Final Words
Whether you’re excited or a complete bundle of nerves, the first date will always either be the first of many or the last. Going into it prepared makes it easier, and many people find it helpful to write down a few topics or put some notes on their phones to help with charming first-date conversation starters. Keeping your questions open-ended stimulates conversation growth and allows either person to explore topics of interest. It pays to keep an open mind and maintain realistic expectations. You may enjoy yourself even if the date doesn’t result in another with the same person.
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