When dating, one has to be prepared and be observant about their partner’s behavior. It is always important to note some “red flags,” as they will help someone avoid such relationships in the future and rather find healthier ones. These red flags could help a person realize that a particular person might not be good for them or might have some issues. Here, we will explore three key red flags to watch for when dating: controlling behavior, lack of boundaries, and inconsistency.
Controlling Behavior
At the top of the list of red flags or clear warning signs is, of course, controlling behavior. This can be your partner determining what you wear, who you associate with, or how you use your money. This means that although you have preferences and opinions about things, a controlling partner will try to dominate your decisions.
People with controlling tendencies do not start with full-blown control; they start by offering advice or having obnoxious opinions about your decisions. However, it can go deeper and reach the level of excessive control, e.g., the partner will demand to know your location every time or will try to separate you from your friends and family. It may be rooted in insecurity or a lack of respect for your decision-making processes or your freedom as a human being. What is important before you even get there is to try to deal with these red flags and see if this relationship can let you have the freedom you want.
Lack of Boundaries
Another red flag is the lack of boundaries. You should respect each other’s boundaries in a relationship. So, if your partner appears to have constant disregard for your boundaries, it’s a clear warning sign.
This disrespect may look like forcing you into situations you are not ready for, for instance, sex before you are ready for it or invading your alone time. It also may entail telling you that your emotions are invalid or making you feel as though you should be ashamed for desiring personal space. It is always pertinent for a relationship that one respects the other’s space and privacy, and it can be dangerous when this is lacking.
Inconsistency
Inconsistency is also another red flag. This can be in the form of affectionate behavior or lack of it, texting frequency or a total communication shutdown, or changing a scheduled plan with little or no prior notice. That being said, it becomes very important to differentiate between busy schedules and just plain inconsistency as a regular pattern.
For instance, one may have a partner who may show so much interest and then change to being indifferent. This might be due to some personal problems or a lack of commitment. Since the relationship is based on the foundation of communication, if one party sees that the other is frequently inconsistent, the best thing to do is to look into its causes.
Final Thoughts
By identifying potential red flags from an early stage of dating, one is in a better position to manage a relationship. Something may not be quite right if the person is controlling, does not respect boundaries, or is inconsistent. Of course, nobody is perfect, but if the mentioned behaviors are consistent for a long time, then perhaps there are some severe problems that may eventually contribute to the development of unhealthy relationships.
Just go with your gut and do not be afraid to point out problems with your loved one. To avoid being in the wrong relationship, you should always be alert and ensure that you set your standards right to get a partner out of your dreams who will love and respect you for who you are.
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