The world of social media, particularly TikTok, is no stranger to controversy. The latest scandal to come out of "MomTok" is the concept of soft swinging. What precisely is soft swinging, though? While exact definitions can be arbitrary, it's an extramarital relationship with intimacy minus sexual penetration. Except for the actual act of sex, everything else involving intimacy is permissible when soft swinging.
Taylor Frankie Paul, Influencer
Taylor Frankie Paul is best known as the queen bee and creator of #MomTok, but she's made a reputation for herself in other ways in recent years. Paul resides in Utah and is the mother of three young children. In February 2023, she was arrested on assault charges, criminal mischief, and committing domestic assault in the presence of children. Paul had allegedly thrown chairs at her then-boyfriend (now husband), accidentally injuring one of her children who were nearby.
Soft-Swinging In The Spotlight
Taylor Paul identifies as a Mormon, which is interesting because many people wouldn't associate a straight-laced Mormon woman with any open relationship activity. Paul and her now ex-husband, Tate Paul, had been speaking openly about their non-conventional marriage for years; their activities inspired Hulu's The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, an eight-part reality series. While the concept of swinging certainly isn't new, the Pauls' activities and public statements did raise eyebrows among the Mormon community.
Backlash From The Church
For most people, talking about engaging in sexual activities with someone other than your spouse is uncomfortable. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, the Church of Latter Day Saints spoke out concerning #MomTok and the Hulu show without naming either of them directly, stating that they denounced their faith's distortions in the "entertainment industry." Despite what the Church or anyone else may say, Paul and her close circle of friends insist that they are Mormons.
Substance Abuse Woes
Taylor Frankie Paul's arrest seemed to bring the #MomTok shenanigans to fever pitch. After her arrest, Paul was charged with aggravated assault, two counts of domestic violence in the presence of a child, child abuse with injury and criminal mischief, which allegedly occurred while Paul was under the influence of alcohol. Partaking in alcohol is strictly forbidden in the Mormon church.
Picking Up The Pieces
Paul hopes to put her life back together after what she called "hitting rock bottom" with her arrest in February 2023. She is still on good terms with her ex-husband and has worked through problems with her new husband, Dakota Mortensen. Now, the pair is raising their infant son, Ever, who was born in March. Paul caused a stir when she admitted that she had broken the cardinal rule and ended up sleeping with her boyfriend, which resulted in her divorce from Tate Paul.
Why Paul Exposed The Soft Swinging World
Drama sells, and there will almost always be some drama with any relationship more complex than strict monogamy. It started when Taylor Frankie Paul wanted to put cheating rumors about her on Reddit to rest. Soft swinging first shocked the world of #MomTok in 2022, especially since before then #MomTok was mainly focused on parenting and lifestyle tips. A further bombshell dropped after word about Paul's divorce in June 2022 spread.
A Final Thought
No matter what you think about extramarital activities, today's society seems more accepting of non-monogamy. According to USA Today, 15% of couples in the United States identify as swingers. Whether soft swinging or not, swinging still involves an intimate connection with another person. It should go without saying that it is not for everyone; there is a high chance of resentment, regret and remorse. Add alcohol abuse into the mix, and bad things are bound to happen as Paul's case shows.
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