In most toxic relationships, love bombing is a technique that emotionally manipulates someone in a way that often feels overwhelming. Mainly, these manipulative tactics include showering someone with excessive attention, affection, or compliments to strengthen a sense of attachment and euphoria. Moreover, love bombing mostly occurs at the start of many abusive or toxic relationships, as it's used to gain control over another person.
What is Love Bombing
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A relationship beginning may make people feel like they're in a fairy tale with its abundant affection and promises of a future together. Likewise, the two individuals may stay in constant communication and want to be together all the time. While these actions can be genuine, problems can arise if the relationship dynamic shifts over time with one person becoming more distant, mean, or controlling.
Eventually, these individuals may begin questioning the generosity of their and their partner’s initial feelings, leading to emotional distress, psychological problems, and, in extreme cases, physical harm. To make matters worse, romantic relationships aren't the only relationships affected by love bombings as family and friends can engage in this harmful manipulation to control others as well.
Traits and Behaviors of Love Bombers
Ultimately, love bombing relies on grand gestures as a manipulation tactic with one person attempting to lower their partner’s defenses to manipulate them easier. Although love bombing can occur without harmful intentions, an individual may still become emotionally damaged by the turbulant relationship over time. Most love bombers have traits of narcissism driving their need for control as they care mostly about their own needs. As a result, love bombers may act superior and use gaslighting tactics to achieve their goals.
While some love bombers exhibit narcissistic traits, others may struggle with anxiety or have an insecure attachment style. Due to their need for control, these love-bombing individuals may struggle with trusting others. Furthermore, some individuals may have learned this troubling behavior from their parents or developed these manipulative tactics from childhood trauma. More than that, they may have abandonment issues driving their need to control others to maintain closeness.
Signs of Love Bombing
The signs associated with love bombing may be more obvious to others rather than to the individual who experiences it. Consequently, this individual may feel understood and deeply connected to their partner due to their manipulation. What’s more? Family and friends may notice the signs of love bombing by how fast the relationship moves or their partners' obsessive behavior.
Examples of someone's love bombing may include their partner being too easily agreeable with them, wanting constant communication, or declaring their love too soon. Another sign is someone giving away expensive gifts or going “over the top” with date planning early in the relationship. Devaluation is a subtle sign of love bombing where an individual engages in abusive tactics or gets irritated with their partner once the relationship is secured. Even if the person tries to leave the relationship, their partner may restart the controlling cycle of showering them with gifts and affection to get them back.
Three Stages of Love Bombing
Ultimately, love bombing tends to happen in three stages with the first stage being idealization. During this stage, an individual is made to feel special as they’re overwhelmed with compliments, affection, and even gifts. By making them feel happy and loved, this individual fails to see their partner's potential manipulation as a result.
In the devaluation stage, an individual may begin to see red flags emerging with their partners revealing their true colors. These red flags include their partner becoming angry over the smallest inconveniences or placing demands on them to spend time. Specifically, this behavioral change can lead to gaslighting, making the individual question their own perception and their confidence weakened with their partner convincing them everything is okay.
Discard is the final stage and usually occurs when an individual confronts their controlling partner about their toxic behavior by trying to set healthy boundaries. Their partner may respond negatively by refusing to compromise, avoiding accountability, and even ending the relationship without reason. Regardless of their reaction, it's only another manipulation tactic in a future attempt to restart the relationship again, beginning another love-bombing cycle in the process.
Final Thoughts
Potential victims of love bombings should take time to assess their situation seriously and carefully. One way to protect themselves is by setting boundaries to maintain control of their well-being and gain insight into how their partners react to their decisions. Likewise, these individuals should reflect on their relationship and its impact on their daily lives to reveal any manipulation tactic that may be used against them. With that said, if someone is unsure of their partners’ reactions, it’s essential they seek advice or get help immediately to ensure their safety regardless of their next course of action.
Disclaimer: This article is intended simply to provide information. It does not replace the medical advice of a physician or other medical professional. Please speak with your doctor or therapist if you have any questions or concerns.
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