It's a common experience everyone has: a friend is in a bad place, and you want to support them, but you are unsure how to do so without causing more trouble. It can be very hard to judge the right thing to do, especially since you want to avoid overstepping boundaries. In this article, you will find how to be supportive when everything seems to be going wrong for your friend without crossing the line.
Listen Actively
A friend may be going through a rough time in life, and all they need is someone to listen to them. As the saying goes, "A problem shared is a problem solved." They need to share their problem with you, and active listening on your part allows your friend to feel that they have been understood.
When you actively listen to your friend, you allow them to express themselves without cutting into their speaking time. Just say, "That must have been tough," "I can understand why you feel like that," or something similar. It doesn't matter what specific phrasing you use; your intent is to let your friend know that someone's there for them.
You should also learn to reflect on what they shared. If they say they are overwhelmed, you may try saying, "What's making you feel so overwhelmed at the moment? Would you like to discuss it further?" This lets them know that you are interested in what they say; if and when they begin sharing what's happening in their life, try not to interrupt them to air your thoughts.
Offer Practical Help
In some cases, your friend may not just need someone to talk to and listen to them but also someone who will be there to support them in the battle. Offering assistance can therefore go a long way in improving a situation, as long as it is done in a manner that is sensitive and not in a way that may end up being an imposition.
Doing small things like shopping and cooking for them can in some way help reduce the stress that they may be going through in the day. This type of support is tangible and gives your friend one less thing that they have to worry about in their day-to-day life. Instead of saying generic things like "Do you need anything?" that might be annoying, be concrete. Try saying, "I am going to the grocery store this afternoon; do you need anything?" or "I have no plans for the weekend; would you like me to do chores?" These more specific questions can be far less invasive and far more productive.
Respect Their Space
People handle difficult periods in their lives in different ways. Although you might be inclined to talk for a long time, your friend may need some time to be alone and sort out their feelings. You must consider what they are comfortable with and also understand their need for personal space. This shows that you are aware of their personal space, and therefore it is important not to invade it. It can save you from overloading them and allows them to come for your assistance when they are ready to do so.
Tell them that you are there for them, but at the same time, let them have their space. It’s like saying, “I am always here for you, and if you want to be alone right now, I will respect it. But I just wanted to check on you.” Then, after some time, go back to remind them of your presence.
Final Thoughts
When standing by your friend during their most challenging moments, you should know when to be present in their life and when it is best to give them space. In this way, you can support a friend without being intrusive and to help them overcome the problem. The most important thing is to listen actively, be polite, and not rush them. Your good attitude will not only assist your friend to overcome their difficulties but also strength your friendship together in the process.
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