Silent Killers: How Unspoken Expectations Ruin Relationships

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There are five silent killers of relationships that are frequently overlooked until it is too late. If you are not careful, any of these expectations can gradually destroy your relationship until it is lost forever. So, how can you avoid them? It all begins with being conscious of who they are and what they look like in your relationship. If you notice any of these warning signs, address them right away before they become a problem. Your relationship’s health depends on it.

5 Unspoken Expectations That Ruin Relationships

Unresolved Trauma

Everyone carries some type of baggage from their past that has remained with them throughout their lives. If this baggage is not addressed before beginning a relationship, it can have a variety of harmful consequences. For example, being emotionally harmed or bullied as a child may lead to insecurity, low self-esteem, and doubt as an adult.

You may expect that the past should be left behind and does not apply to you or your relationship. Unfortunately, unresolved trauma frequently has a big negative impact on a couple’s life since it is repeatedly provoked or brought up, exacerbating the emotional pain in relationships.

Stonewalling

Everyone eventually withdraws from a relationship because they are hurt, unsupported, misunderstood, or frightened to say the wrong thing. Stonewalling is primarily used to shield oneself against unpleasant feelings or experiences. You may have seen a toddler hide in a ball beneath a table or in a corner after being ignored or dismissed. A similar phenomenon can be observed in relationships. As you get older, you stop struggling for emotional connection and eventually abandon the relationship.

Sexual Repression

The matter is commonly put on hold when one or both spouses believe their sexual needs are not being met. Although there are numerous other reasons for this sensation, frequent or infrequent sexual relations are usually mentioned. Regardless of these expectations, admitting one’s sexual discontent might be uncomfortable for a variety of reasons.

For instance, the person experiencing repression might view discussing sex as inappropriate or “taboo,” be concerned about potentially offending the other person’s feelings, and soon. Despite this comprehensible reluctance, it is likely to be fixed. The sexual intimacy of all relationships is crucial, and intimacy can deteriorate without a healthy sexual life.

Tacit Disappointment

It is tough to convey disappointment to a loved one. Unspoken displeasure and expectations of the other party might lead to the end of a relationship. It can be agonizingly difficult to understand and express frustrations to another spouse when one or both parties have become numb to the other’s displeasure and expectations.

Inattention and Invalidation

An example is when one spouse shows hurt over something the other did, and the other responds with something that either does not make sense or dismisses any perceived concerns by implying that the other is overreacting or just incorrect. If such interactions increase in frequency, one or both partners will likely remain silent, which is a direct descendant of hostility.

Relationship specialists suggest a few actions to prevent such communication issues from developing. Avoiding text messaging is the first piece of advice. The explanation is straightforward: body language and tone, two crucial components of effective communication, cannot be conveyed through text.

Final Thoughts

Unspoken expectations can silently destroy relationships, leaving emotional scars and unanswered questions. Recognizing and addressing these hidden assumptions is necessary for building trust and intimacy, preventing misunderstandings and conflicts, fostering open communication, and nurturing healthy relationships.

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Article originally written by Angela Azeke.