Celebrated annually on August 12^th

Smack dab in the middle - my brother, the middle child (October 1969)Photo byTrisha Faye

Memories of my brother race through my head today, when I saw that today is National Middle Child Day.

Luther Edward Cline II. Although my brother was ‘the Second’, named after my dad, one of my favorite childhood stories is what he used to call himself when he was little.

Evidently he didn’t quite get ‘The Second’ thing, and used to call himself ‘Luther the Third’. Except…he couldn’t pronounce ‘third’, so ended up calling himself ‘Luther the Turd’.

And did my sister and I ever let him forget that?

Not if we could help it.

My brother was the middle child in our family of three.

And being the middle child can come with its own stigma and problems.

Parenting.FirstCry reports:

Did you know there is a theory that states the birth order influences the personalities of children? A 19th-century medical doctor and psychotherapist from Austria, Alfred Adler, inferred from his studies that the birth order has a lasting impression on kids’ lives. The birth of a younger one affects the older one in many ways. There’s also a belief that many middle-borns, or the middles, are affected the most, as they are said to be excluded, ignored, and sometimes even neglected by their parents. The feelings of anxiety and dejection that middle-borns may experience are now coined the Middle Child Syndrome, and although it is a condition that exists in popular culture, it is real.

My brother and I the last time we saw each other, August 1995.Photo byTrisha Faye

Unfortunately, my brother passed away at the much too young age of 35-years-old. So, I can’t ask his opinion on if any of the above is true. I can’t ask if he ever felt ignored or neglected by being a middle child.

However, I’d venture to say that he didn’t experience those feelings. Because even though he was a middle child, he was also the only boy. So, he had that honor of distinction that helped give him his own role in the family, instead of getting buried as simply the middle child.

I’d never heard of Middle Child Day before. But it’s been around for some time. Parenting.FirstCry says this about the history behind this national day.

National Middle Child Day was established in 1986 for middle children, who are said to be ignored or left out, compared to their older and younger siblings. Children born in the middle often find themselves sandwiched but also overlooked by their parents. This affects their confidence and self-esteem, and gives rise to feelings of resentment, disaffection, and withdrawal. National Middle Child Day is thus celebrated to recognise the middle-borns and highlight some pros of being a middle child.

But don't let some of these negative aspects weigh too heavily.

There are also many benefits to being a middle child.

Lynne Reeves Griffin R.N., M.Ed., shares a different perspective in The Secret Powers of Middle Children, published in Psychology Today. She states:

They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic. This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.

So in honor of my brother that passed from this world much too soon, here’s a big shout out to all the middle children today.

A whole day in your honor.

Middle Children, You are loved and valued!