We know how important it is to stay in the present moment . And we know that having grounding tools, such as simple breathing exercises , are crucial to keep us in the present moment during times of stress. But sometimes, when the intrusive thoughts become too loud, we forget how healing the present moment can be, or how to access it.
And that’s when a kind word from a loved one can make all the difference.
It certainly did for 29-year-old Christina Symes , an artist living with her 95-year-old grandmother, aka “gran,” in London. Gran’s advice was so powerful that Symes shared it in a TikTok , which has since gone viral at 3 million views.
Symes told Newsweek that even as a child, before social media, Gran would send her “comforting” tapes of her talking or reading stories out loud. And Symes routinely records whatever advice Gran gives to listen to in the future because “what she says can be so poignant.”
A few years ago, Symes moved in with Gran after she became housebound, leading to more insightful chats.
Symes, who had been struggling with depression and anxiety, also developed agoraphobia after experiencing the death of a close relative and the breakdown of a 10-year relationship.
All you have to do is take it one step at a time. Photo credit: Canva
Understandably, she was having a hard time navigating this difficult chapter, and sought Gran’s advice once more. And here’s what Gran had to say:
"Look at yourself in the mirror, wash your face, put your makeup on, put your clothes on and then say, What must I do next? I must have a little breakfast, or I must have a cup of tea, and then I will start to do this little thing that needs doing.”
Once that little thing is done, even if it took a couple of hours to get done, gran says to give yourself a reward for having done it. Her reward of choice: another cup of tea.
"I deserve it because I've done those things, and I can take pride in the fact you've done them. Never mind about what else has happened years ago, what's going to happen in the future.”
Did we mention that this advice is made all the more wholesome with Gran’s british accent? It really does hit the spot like a nice cuppa tea.
Watch below:
The advice seemed to resonate with Symes, who told Newsweek "Often, when I think of everything as a whole, it feels far too overwhelming, and I end up not being able to do anything," she said.
"Whereas if it's broken down into small steps with little rewards afterwards, as my gran mentions, it can feel more manageable. Then, the little steps in turn lead to bigger steps, and more progress can be made. Sometimes the most important advice can be the most simple advice.”
The clip, appropriately captioned “one step at a time,” definitely resonated with others as well, who shared truly lovely comments.
“As a psychiatric nurse, she’s right, take it slow, hour by hour. Be compassionate [to] yourself and set attainable goals.”
“When she said ‘I deserve it’ I broke because not one part of me believes I do, no matter how much I do or how hard I work,I’m not sure I ever will.”
“I am almost 10 years in recovery of my agoraphobia and this resonated with me so much. Am in tears. We DO deserve that reward. Thank you.”
“I feel like writing ‘what must I do next?’ on my mirror now.”
“I cried at this. I’m going to get up and have a bath, and then I’m going to do my hair and makeup for the first time in months.”
No matter what you might be struggling with, take it from gran: take it slow, give yourself grace, and please, have that tea.
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