The newborn stage is often described as a magical time—a fleeting blur of intoxicating baby head smells and love-rush-hormones. It’s also a time when your potential as a parent is virtually untainted. After all, the needs are simple—feed, clean, nurture, repeat—and you haven’t royally screwed up yet…at least, not that you know of.
But is it really that magical? Or is that nostalgic feeling parents having while looking back at baby photos simply an example of euphoric recall ?
It certainly hasn’t been sunshine and roses for one frustrated mom of two, currently being put through the ringer again with a 10-week-old and wondering if she’s alone in thinking “I cannot wait for newborn time to be over.”
“Can I please ask parents who have kids who are older this question… do you actually miss the newborn stage if you didn’t like being in it?,” she began in a Reddit post .
She also explained that, “Once my first born was 5-6 months old I felt like I was more able to understand a little more of what she was trying to say. But I’m back here again with my 10 week old who is actually way chiller than my first was and I still am just not enjoying it as much as I thought I would have.”
Which brought her to her question: “is it ok to just simply not enjoy this stage?”
“You’ll miss the newborn stage…” do you?
by u/Moist-Government-694 in Parenting
“I feel like so many people are just telling me ‘you’ll miss it…’ when I see pictures on my phone of my first born as a baby, I always tend to gush over the 5-6 month stage, not the newborn stage. Anyone else feel the same?” she concluded.
After literally thousands of fellow parents responded with commiseration, it’s safe to say that this woman can probably feel a lot guilty for not loving this stage.
“Mine are 8 and 6. I rejoiced to be done the newborn stage. It was not a good stage for me with either of them. But watching them grow and develop into their personalities is just so cool. They get cooler every day,” one person wrote.
Another added, “Not for a single second. Mine is 11 and the independence, the ability to tell me what’s wrong and what she needs. Watching her personality blossom, seeing her grow as a person is way better to me than newborn times.”
Quite a few admitted the reason why they wouldn’t be having more kids was because it would involve dealing with newborns.
“I hated it so much it’s one of the reasons I’m one and done,” one person shared.
Another echoed, “My kids are 5 and 8, and I absolutely DO NOT miss the newborn stage. It was extremely difficult and one of the many reasons why we stopped at two kids.”
For many, the sleep deprivation alone was reason enough to not ever want to deal with newborns again.
Sure, having an adorably tiny little smoosh-ball is the best. But when you’re too exhausted to even exist…the magic wanes.
"I didn't sleep at all. I also felt bored beyond belief and mentally stunted. It was very depressing." Photo credit: Canv a
“My kids didn't sleep through the night until they were 2. They were breastfed and wouldn't take bottles. I didn't sleep at all. I also felt bored beyond belief and mentally stunted. It was very depressing. My kids are now 13 and 15. I'll take teens any day,” one mom wrote.
All this to say—no parenting chapter is perfect. Each will come with its own blessings and challenges, and it can be hard to differentiate between the two when you’re in the middle of it. So if you happen to be really struggling during one phase, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It just means you’re a human experiencing life.
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