Teacher says it makes kids 'entitled' to let them go to the restroom whenever they like

A teacher on TikTok has created a debate over whether it’s appropriate to let elementary-age kids go to the restroom whenever they say they have to go. Jade Barrow , an elementary school-age substitute teacher in London , says she uses “discernment” when deciding whether a child can go to the bathroom and has no problem making them wait.

Barrow made the video to push back against parents who say their children should be able to go to the bathroom whenever they like. “If you want your child to receive special treatment, mainstream state school probably isn’t the place to be sending them,” Barrow captioned the video. “Some parents really are setting their kids up for failure in real life with all this pampering and entitlement. ”

“Today, I had about four examples of a time where I did not let the children go to the toilet,” Barrow said in her video. “So I just want to give you a bit of insight into our world so you can make a better judgment when you say, ‘Well, my child is allowed to go to the toilet whenever they want.’”

“Today, we had an activity where, for three minutes, you listen to your partner read and then you swap over because you’re going to give them feedback on how they read ... I start the timer — one kid starts reading. The partner comes up to me and is like, ‘Ms., can I go to the toilet?’ But right now, you’re supposed to be listening to your partner read for three minutes,” she continued.

Barrow said it wasn’t fair for the child to take a bathroom break while working on an assignment with another student.

She added that it’s inappropriate for a child to ask to go while she is giving instructions. “No, because if you now go to the toilet, when you come back, I’m going to have to explain the activity again to you.” She also believes they should wait once recess has ended and the kids have returned to class. “You literally just had playtime ... you’re going to have to hold onto it for a minute,” she said.

The teacher clarified that she’d only make a child hold their bladder for a few minutes. “At max, it’ll be like, four minutes,” Barrow said. “If I can see that they’re really ... desperate, then fair enough, I’ll let them go.”

The video didn’t sit well with many parents on TikTok who think their children should never be denied access to the bathroom. “I've told my daughter, if she needs to use the toilet, just ask to be excused once, if the teacher says no - walk out,” Zeduk wrote. “If you need the toilet, that's all you will concentrate on.. so the child won't actually be taking in the information and it's likely it will need repeating anyway?” SunshineLvoes assed.

A teacher said she takes the opposite approach, which works fine for her. “I’m a primary school teacher. Children in my class use the toilet as and when they need to go. It’s their right. If I have to catch a child up, I do. I’ve never had an issue—they love the freedom,” BubblesWHU wrote.

Some commenters thought Barrow was right to expect children to wait until an appropriate time to leave the classroom.

“She is explaining that it’s only 4 mins max, let’s be honest, most times 4 mins is fine. My son tells me he needs the toilet when we’re on our way home, literally a few mins away, he’s fine,” Caits wrote. “Outside of education, children also have to wait to use the [bathroom]. Are these parents seriously saying they've never had to walk 5 minutes through a shopping center, or walking home, or in the car,” Helen added.

Ultimately, the debate is about balancing a child’s immediate needs with healthy classroom management. The key is for Barrow and other teachers to let their students know when they can go to the bathroom and when they’ll need to wait a few minutes. That way, the students can be conscious of their needs and develop a good habit of planning to use the restroom before it’s too late.