Election survival guide: How to respond to a loved one's conspiracy theories

When Donald Trump brought up false claims about cat-eating migrants in this week's presidential debate, Kamala Harris burst into laughter.

It might have been an effective debate technique for the vice president as she challenged the former president's political positions. But psychologists and extremism experts say everyday Americans are better off not meeting a loved one's conspiracy theories with ridicule.

"We don’t want to shame people for believing in a false narrative," said Sara Aniano, a disinformation analyst with the Anti-Defamation League's Center on Extremism.

For one, belittling the believer isn't generally an effective way to convince someone that a story isn't true. Fact-based arguments may result in defensiveness rather than listening and acceptance, according to clinical psychologist Loren Soeiro.

"The least effective argument against a conspiracy, as you might imagine, is a mocking, sarcastic tone or an effort at ridicule," Soeiro wrote in a Psychology Today , "How to Talk to the Conspiracy Theorist in Your Life."

"Being sarcastic or mocking, or openly challenging, will effectively cause the person to disagree with you more strongly," he told USA TODAY. "Triggering defensiveness is a great way to go nowhere."

There are reasons, rooted in science, why belief in a conspiracy can be difficult to unwind, experts say. Understanding why people fall for conspiracy theories is the first step toward fostering respectful conversation and even "inoculating" people against believing in a conspiracy theory in the future.

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Why do people believe conspiracy theories?

An unsubstantiated story about Haitian migrants eating pets in Ohio took flight after Republican vice presidential nominee J.D. Vance shared the claims on social media to millions of followers ‒ although it has been contradicted by local officials. When Trump repeated the story to 67 million viewers during the presidential debate it metastacized.

"Theories like this, they pop all the time," Aniano said. "They don’t always gain the traction this one has. But when influencers share theories, that kind of engagement can add to the credibility of the narrative – even if it has been debunked."

Science suggests there are three motivations for why people buy into conspiracy theories.

The first motivation is "epistemic:" Conspiracy theories emerge from the human need to make sense of the world, according to an Anti-Defamation League discussion of research by Karen Douglas, who studies the psychology of conspiracy theories at the University of Kent, in England. When people are experiencing uncertainty, they cling to explanations that provide certainty, even if the explanations are overly simplistic or flat-out wrong.

The second motivation is "existential." People need to feel safe and secure; when they feel powerless to control the events impacting them, they may fall for a conspiracy theory that offers an explanation for why they lack control and who is to blame – even if it's wrong.

Third, there is a social motivation. Having exclusive access to information someone else doesn't can make a person feel superior and boost their self-esteem. Likewise, believing that a conspiracy puts someone on a moral high ground makes it that much harder for them to let go.

"People believe things like that because it’s part of their identity; it’s part of the team they have chosen," said Lee McIntyre, a Boston University research fellow and author of "On Disinformation" and "How to Talk to a Science Denier."

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"Facts are not going to do," he said. "You talk somebody out of something like that with a calm, patient, respectful encounter where you show them they can trust you." But, he added, "it’s hard to do when people have chosen sides."

How to talk to someone who believes a conspiracy theory

When a loved one decides to believe something that is demonstrably untrue, psychologists recommend starting a conversation that is respectful and non-judgmental. Soeiro, the psychologist, suggests the following approach:

• Be open-minded, listen without judgment and try not to act defensively. "Be willing to listen to the person say things you disagree with without having to challenge them right away," he said.
• Be curious about the origins of the conspiracy theory. Try asking how they learned about the theory, and be receptive to the answers. "It's really hard to have these conversations," he said. "Often the person harboring conspiracy beliefs hold back in their relationships for fear of being judged."
• Ask how the information they learned has made them feel or affected their view. "It's more about empathy, about understanding the person you are talking to a little bit better," Soeiro said.

It can be incredibly difficult to get someone to stop believing in a conspiracy theory after they've committed to it. But research suggests that educating people on how to recognize false narratives or identify unreliable sources can help prevent them from falling victim to disinformation in the future.

"Misinformation is an accident," said McIntyre. "Disinformation is a lie. It is an intentional fabrication that is created by someone and amplified by others to achieve whatever goal the person wants. They will create a lie and push it because it serves their economic or political interests.

"That is why in some ways we have to be careful with the people who believe it," he said. "In some ways they are the victims; they are being manipulated."

Lauren Villagran can be reached at lvillagran@usatoday.com.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Election survival guide: How to respond to a loved one's conspiracy theories