Shelburne cemetery commissioner accosts grieving family

This story by Liberty Darr was first published in the Shelburne News on August 8.

When Matthew Gervia held his mother’s ashes for the last time, he imagined that day of mourning would go much differently than what actually happened at the Shelburne Village Cemetery.

Gervia said cemetery commission chair Stuart Morrow invasively and aggressively confronted his family over burial costs as they stood over their mother’s burial site.

In June, as the family listened to Father Dwight Baker of St. Catherine of Siena give the blessing over Beatrice Gervia’s remains, Morrow interrupted the ceremony and accosted family members, demanding payment for opening the grave.

The family had already paid the fee at the town offices earlier that week.

“All of a sudden, this guy, out of nowhere, comes out and just says, ‘Hold up, hold up.’ I’m standing there holding my mom,” Gervia said. “Despite my explanation that I had paid $350 at the town office and could retrieve the receipt from my truck, I kindly and emotionally asked him to just give us a moment to finish, and I would get him anything he needed. He refused to allow the blessing to continue.”

After Morrow repeatedly insisted on immediate proof of payment, Gervia set the box with his mother’s ashes on the ground to retrieve the receipt. Morrow proceeded to then question the receipt, Gervia said.

“I hope this never happens to another family ever again,” Gervia said.

His sister, Judy Harrell, said she wondered if the incident would end in a physical altercation. Her brother even warned her to be aware when she went to build a flower bed around her mother’s grave a few weeks later.

Harrell said she and her brother are still bothered by that day’s events, which has added unnecessary stress to the mourning process.

“When we think about putting my mom to rest, he’s in that, and this whole thing is in that, and I have to find, just like my sister has to find, a way to deal with that and not let it be part of that memory. No family should ever have to go through this. When you’re in the most vulnerable, painful time and someone is willing to do this right in the middle of it,” Gervia said as his voice trailed off.

The family has longstanding ties in Shelburne, and Gervia’s grandparents are buried at the same town cemetery.

Although the town typically accepts payment for burials by cash or check, when Gervia called the town offices to ask if he could pay by card, they allowed it. But the receipt added additional confusion for Morrow and further escalated the situation.

“So, the receipt we had just said ‘Miscellaneous, $350 paid,’” Gervia said. “They were kind of scrambling around to see how they were going to put it in the system. I’m like, ‘Is this the first burial we’re doing? Do we normally do this?’”

Gervia notified town manager Matt Lawless, who said he quickly got to work to investigate the situation.

“I spoke with Mr. Gervia a couple of times and then met with Stuart Morrow and Father Dwight Baker,” Lawless said.

Although he deemed the investigation “legitimate and serious,” his authority over commissions in town is limited since volunteers are appointed by and report directly to the selectboard.

But in an email sent a month later to commission members, including Morrow, Lawless “strongly” recommended a “formal apology from the Cemetery Commission to the family,” and indicated that Morrow, “may also wish to resign in the face of conduct unbecoming of an official of the Town of Shelburne.”

Lawless attempted to join the commission’s meeting in July to discuss the matter but found that no meeting had occurred, even though there was no notice of cancellation. Also in his July email to commission members, he requested that they update outdated and missing minutes online, as required by law, and made them aware of new state statute surrounding the open meeting law that requires commissions and committees to record their meetings and store the recordings.

Although staff requested Morrow’s attendance several times at a summit of the town’s board chairs to discuss the changes in state law, Morrow did not attend.

Lawless strongly suggested a review of the commission’s policies surrounding burial payments, indicating there had been other incidents. He suggested adding a cemetery payment option to the town’s online payment tool, configuring a mobile payment tool like Venmo or PayPal, and regular website updates.

Following the email, Lawless said he received a call from commission member Ron Gagnon who assured that the commission would be taking action.

“I don’t know what that action is yet. I’m expecting to receive a letter from them soon. They may have a satisfactory response. If I don’t find their response sufficient, I’ll escalate it further,” Lawless said, adding that he made the selectboard aware of the situation.

Several emails sent to commissioners, including Morrow, went unanswered by press deadline.

Gervia and Harrell remain committed to receiving justice for their family and said they will work to ensure this never happens to anyone else.

The ordeal left with them another thought, “If you have a mom and dad, just make sure you always give them a call. Because once they’re gone, they’re gone.”

Read the story on VTDigger here: Shelburne cemetery commissioner accosts grieving family .