Despite His Remarkable Comeback, Pacioretty Was 'A Shell Of My Former Self' With The Capitals. He Doesn't Know What Comes Next

ARLINGTON, V.A. — Max Pacioretty never thought he'd be here.

The Washington Capitals forward is standing tall at the podium on breakdown day, looking out at the rink where he was able to come back against all odds after tearing his right Achilles twice in a span of five months.

"It meant a lot to take a step back and put things into perspective. I never really wanted to give myself any credit at all," Pacioretty said. "So when I looked at the season, I obviously wanted more and I wanted to have more success as a team and individually, but I also never thought I'd be up here talking right now.

"There was a good chunk of time there here I was in bed for almost two years and I wasn't able to do much, so grateful that I've gotten this opportunity again."

it wasn't easy for the 34-year-old, who had travelled the world for answers as to why his Achilles failed him not once, but three times total over the course of his career. He knew it would be a long road back, but the Capitals had faith in that journey and signed him to a one-year, $2 million deal.

While there were still questions as to whether Pacioretty would ever play again, the veteran kept his head up and worked his way back from what some wrote off as impossible. He made his season debut on Jan. 3 and became a fixture in the Capitals lineup, helping mentor younger linemates Hendrix Lapierre and Sonny Milano.

"They gave me a chance when there was a lot of uncertainty about how I was going to respond and if I was even going to be able to play at all," Pacioretty said.

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Despite coming back and skating in 47 games for the Capitals, Pacioretty didn't feel like himself, nor did he look it. That spark, that wicked shot and skating that made Pacioretty a captain and hot commodity over the last few seasons, seemed to fade.

Ultimately, the six-time 30-goal scorer found the back of the net just four times, and he picked up 19 assists for 23 points while struggling to produce at the level he had been pre-Achilles.

"I never had a year where I didn't score a lot of goals, and so that was new for me. That being said, definitely it took a lot for me to even get out there and get on the ice and I take a little bit of a moral victory in that regard, but at the same time, I was far from my old self, and it's hard to accept sometimes. That's just the reality of it. It is what it is," Pacioretty said. "That was basically a shell of what I was."

Pacioretty also admitted he's still dealing with the fallout of the injury. Each day still consists of rehabbing. Though he finally knows why his Achilles tore one too many times, he doesn't feel he can share that reason right now.

That being said, he's not sure what the future looks like as he approaches free agency. He hasn't had any conversations with the Capitals regarding a return, though he elected to stay with the team through the trade deadline despite having the opportunity to go to a contender.

"I felt I owed it to them to be loyal to try and help this team make the playoffs, and we were able to do so," Pacioretty explained.

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While Pacioretty still has ways to go, he still wants another chance to show that he can be the player he once was, and that's what he'll look to do going forward. He didn't give up last year when he was unable to get out of bed, and he won't give up now.

"But I'm someone that's always gonna keep working at it and do the best I can to try and get to a level that I feel is what I'm capable of and whether I'm training to play or not, I'm gonna give it my all and see where it takes me," Pacioretty said.

"I don't know anyone else there's ever torn their Achilles three times. It's important for me to just keep doing the right things over and over again, and I hope I'm one day able to get to a level where I'm able to play at a high level. It's only been a year since my last surgery, I'm just going to keep working hard and see where things go."