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I’ve attended a few baby showers in the past and always had a blast, especially with all the fun games. But there's one part that always felt a bit awkward to me — the registry and gift giving part. I just knew when I became pregnant that I wouldn't feel comfortable asking my friends and family to buy things for me (although I don't judge others who create registries!).
My husband and I have known for a while that we want to have a baby, so we’ve slowly been collecting secondhand baby gear or necessities that are on sale — so the truth is that we have most of what we need.
But one day, as I was scrolling through social media, I came across the idea of nesting parties, or a small gathering of friends who help you nest before your baby arrives. These parties can involve anything from prepping freezer meals to building baby furniture, and they’re an emerging trend in the pregnancy corner of TikTok and Instagram.
The photos and videos of nesting parties I was seeing just felt so genuine and intimate — and I loved that there was no expectation of gifts; instead, they’re all about support. I loved the idea of a nesting party so much that I decided to host one when I was 32 weeks pregnant. Here’s what I did, what I learned and what I’d suggest if you’re thinking of having your own nesting party.
What is a nesting party?
A nesting party is a fantastic alternative to a traditional baby shower. It’s an intimate gathering of an expectant mom’s close friends and family, with the goal of helping her prepare for the baby’s arrival.
That will look a little different based on any given mom’s needs; guests might help organize baby clothes, clean, decorate the nursery, assemble furniture or meal prep. The common theme is always about being the expectant mom’s “village” by pitching in and helping prep for the baby’s big debut.
Who throws a nesting party?
I decided to throw and host my own nesting party since I only had a few chores left to do, like sorting and folding my baby’s clothe, and filling up my portable breastfeeding and pumping carts with essential postpartum items. I’ve also seen other nesting parties hosted by the expectant mom’s family — like their mother or sister — or her girlfriends.
One of my close friends is a professional organizer, and she took the lead in sorting, folding and organizing all the baby clothing. She labeled everything and created spaces where things could be neatly sorted. Each of us were assigned a range of clothing sizes that we’d sort and fold by size and type. We also delegated spaces that were labeled with Post-its so that we wouldn't have to keep looking at the tags to see which clothing size we are working with.
My other friend is a mom to an almost 2-year-old, and she gave me some great advice I never would have thought of on my own — and that was to avoid opening my diaper boxes, so that I could return the smaller diapers if I happen to give birth to a bigger baby.
All that to say, who throws your party is up to you! I hosted, while all of my friends came together for different tasks, but another friend or family member could easily host as well. Watching my friends come together in the name of helping me was such an amazing experience.
How to throw a nesting party
My own nesting party was extremely special to me, so if you're looking to throw one yourself, here are my biggest tips:
Make the guest list
If you’re planning a nesting party, whether it’s for yourself or a loved one, I recommend starting with the guest list. Nesting parties are often small and intimate, so this can be a short list of your closest friends and family. I had three friends at my nesting party. (I invited a total of five but one just gave birth and the other was sick.) I thought that was the perfect amount of people, but of course you can pick the number of people that feels right to you!
Pick a date
Once you’ve settled on a guest list, it’s time to pick a date. Since nesting parties are usually made up of a smaller group, I recommend checking in with everyone to see which dates work for them. I talked to my friends about my nesting party about three months before, when I was still early in my second trimester, even though I knew I didn’t want to have my nesting party until I was about 32 weeks pregnant.
Send out the invitations
Once you’ve settled on a date, you’ll want to send out invitations. I sent digital invitations through Paperless Post, but you can also send physical invitations via snail mail — or just text everyone if you want to keep things casual. There are some adorable options on Etsy like this bird nest-themed printable invitation, or this minimalist watercolor-themed one. I sent out the invites about six weeks beforehand so my friends had plenty of notice.
Plan out what you want to do — and get organized
Next up is figuring out what you want to do at the party. The host can plan what's most important to the mother-to-be and pick one or two activities to focus on. Things like cleaning, organizing, building furniture, and decorating are all good options. Or, do you need the nursery painted? Do you need to set up the crib or organize baby’s clothes? Those types of things can be helpful, too.
Once you've decided on the activities, making a list of tasks to keep everyone happily productive is key. You can also consider your friends’ specific areas of expertise so that you can play to their strengths with the tasks that you pick. For instance, we assigned different clothing sizes to different "teams," of guests, which helped keep everyone on track, but not overwhelmed.
My friend Kat Green, a professional organizer and ADHD organizing specialist, thought the activities at my party were the perfect mix of fun and productive. "I loved having an open area where we were able to sprawl out, share the experience with everyone and chat through it instead of it being a tedious task for you and your husband," she says. "It was nice that we ooohed and ahhed and saw all the cute outfits that your baby will eventually wear."
Stock up on the essentials
From food to supplies, you'll want to be sure you have all the items you need for both your activities and your guests.
If you're organizing, labels will be a mom's best friend, says Green. "Labeling helps your brain not to have to constantly remember what’s in each bin or drawer. This also helps dad and other caregivers know where things go back to versus them having to ask you again and again. It just reduces the mental fatigue that a new mom and dad will experience." Make sure to also have supplies ready and stations delegated; Post-its helped us know which piles were which!
When it came to the menu, my husband and I also made sure to have all food and drinks prepared to keep everyone fueled and fed throughout the day. My husband prepared us lunch so that my friends and I were all energized.
Think about goodie bags or other thank you items
At the end of the party, it's always a good idea to thank everyone for their help! Consider sending thank you cards afterwards or preparing treat bags for them to take home from the party. I put together star-themed treat bags (my baby’s name, Tala, means star) filled with a glass tumbler, lollipop and keychain.
Keep it fun!
The most important thing to remember about a nesting party is to have fun! Play some music (we watched Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour while we worked!), have snacks and enjoy the time with your friends and family. A nesting party is all about preparing for the baby while enjoying the support and company of your loved ones. Happy nesting!
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