Florida Man Should Be Ashamed For Not Making A Better Effort To Catch Shohei Ohtani’s 50-50 Record-Breaking Home Run Ball

Come on, Florida Man. First of all, are you at a Miami Marlins game in the first place, wearing their jersey, as some sort of sadistic punishment for finishing last in your fantasy football league last year? Or are you just in the habit of casually watching opportunities of a lifetime pass right by your face? Or, dare I say, is it a blend of both of these things? Whatever the excuse or lack of hand-eye coordination — hopefully on a count of a few too many adult beverages — all the absurdities Florida Man gets himself into is rivaled by this shockingly pedestrian effort to snag the 50th home run of Shohei Ohtani's record-setting 2024 campaign. Thanks to this dinger in the Los Angeles Dodgers' blowout of the Marlins, Ohtani became the first man in MLB history to steal 50 bases and jack 50 homers in the same season: https://twitter.com/Dodgers/status/1836903502523535825 But all I see here is the folly of mankind. https://twitter.com/ballysportsfl/status/1836905320096092669 Since Ohtani is just built different and can actually make football diehards care about baseball once in a blue moon — the other figurative lunar event happened during his best pal's sports betting scandal — he naturally set the record in style, breaking new ground for a 51/51 club. https://twitter.com/Dodgers/status/1836910642957058466 https://twitter.com/noahcamras/status/1836910577958158425 What a beast. Didn't want that to get lost in the fan-centric nature of this post. Although I'll still never forgive that guy for not snagging the baseball. No telling how much he could've held the Dodgers or Cooperstown hostage for a massive price tag. Maybe in his mind he was being a class act by letting it go, but I sure doubt it based on what replay and my functioning eyeballs tell me. Another factor that can't be overlooked: Ohtani hasn't pitched all year because he's recovering from freaking Tommy John surgery. I still don't know how you swing a bat as a pro baseball player with your UCL ligament having just been shredded BBQ meat. How does that thing keep healing? And how do you not accidentally aggravate it on one of your 51 home runs, or the other countless swings over the course of the way-too-long MLB season? Maybe there's an easy, searchable answer but I'll just live in the naïveté because it makes me appreciate Ohtani's unprecedented accomplishment even more. So congrats to Mr. Ohtani, and thoughts and prayers to the Florida Man who could've had it all if he just laid out for that ish.