Being your authentic self often comes with challenges, but if you're a person who happens to be transgender, those challenges — everything from personal safety and health issues to societal ignorance and even hostility — can be especially daunting.
In Southeastern North Carolina, one of the groups that helps support transgender people is the Wilmington Transgender Community (WTC), which holds free, monthly meetings and serves as a clearinghouse for a wide range of information, including a vetted list of doctors, lawyers and other businesses that are trans-friendly.
Founded 17 years ago by Wilmington therapist Nova Swanstrom, WTC is now run by TR Nunley, a longtime local activist for LGBTQIA rights who is also trans, and by Kendall Tidey, a self-described "ally" and therapist who specializes in gender issues. WTC considers "trans" an umbrella term that includes people who are transgender, intersex, non-binary and gender non-conforming, as well as people who crossdress.
"After HB2 was passed in North Carolina in 2016, I was pretty disgusted by some narratives that were being circulated depicting trans people as predators and monsters," Tidey said. "Many of the narratives dehumanized them. After getting all riled up, I did some Googling to see who in the therapy world was supporting the transgender community and it was really only Nova Swanstrom.
"She'd been facilitating the group for 10 years and was ready to pass the torch," Tidey added. "I guess my anger at HB2 … turned into a healthy passion and the focus of my work."
North Carolina's HB2 law, later repealed, prevented transgender people from using public bathrooms consistent with their gender idenity and required them to use bathrooms that aligned with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Being in the news as a source of controversy has helped galvanize the LGBTQIA community and its allies, and educated the public about trans people and trans issues. But visibility also has its costs, Tidey said.
"I think that everyday, real life has become easier for trans people," Tidey said. "Online it's gotten a lot worse. It's a political issue."
Some trans people she talks to worry that politics could cause them to lose access to gender-affirming health care, Tidey said.
It's not an exaggeration to say that offering support to transgender people, especially teens, can be a matter of life and death. Nunley has run a WTC support group for transgender teens and tweens since 2016. In eight years, "We only had one kid from group who has attempted suicide," Nunley said. "This is proof that our group is successful. We provide a safe space for trans teens to exist and get support from their peers."
Nunley cited statistics from The Trevor Society, a nonprofit suicide prevention organization for LGBTQ youth, that estimates that one LGBTQ person between the ages of 13 and 24 attempts suicide every 45 seconds in the U.S.
Understanding and support is key, Tidey said, because while "on a superficial level there's more basic knowledge" among the general public about trans people and issues, "I don't think the level of knowledge is where it needs to be. I wish there was more knowledge about, just, getting pronouns right, what gender dysphoria is, that kind of thing.
"A lot of people still think (being trans) is the same as sexuality," she added, when it's more about how one perceives their own gender.
In the news:NC lawmakers advocate for LGBTQ rights during Pride Month event
WTC is an informal group run by volunteers. It's not a registered nonprofit, and all of its services are free. WTC launched its website five years ago, Tidey said, and while keeping it updated has been a daunting task, it has allowed the group to reach more people.
"I still talk to people all the time who don't know the support is out there," Tidey said. "We have detailed instructions on legal changes, (a) list of doctors who prescribe gender-affirming (hormone replacement therapy) and therapists who are knowledgeable/welcoming."
The site also has a vetted list of businesses that are trans-friendly.
"If we hear negative feedback (about a business) we remove them," Tidey said. "Feeling safe and welcome is unfortunately not a given in all spaces for the transgender community."
The locations of WTC's monthly meetings are kept private, and new members are vetted before meeting times and locations are given out. There are more than 200 trans people on the WTC's mailing list, Tidey said, so the number of trans people in Southeastern North Carolina is likely in the hundreds. Meetings draw around 30 people a month.
As the transgender community has become more visible, it's made it easier for people, including teens, to explore what being transgender means. This has led to anxiety among some parents, including those who are hostile to the idea of their child being transgender.
Despite the increasing visibility of trans people and issues, Tidey said she hasn't seen a corresponding rise in the number of teens or adults in what she called "extreme distress" over gender dysphoria. From her perspective, those numbers have stayed constant over the years.
"Younger people may experiment with their gender identity more, in a social way, but not to the point of seeking, say, hormone treatment," Tidey said.
And teens exploring their gender identity isn't exactly a new thing.
"We used to just call it androgyny, or punk," Tidey said. "It's been around for a long time. Just for young people to not want to conform is not a new thing."
One thing that has increased?
"The conversation around gender is happening way more," Tidey said. "It's gone from happening not at all to happening quite a bit. Personally, I think that's a good thing."
As a therapist, of course, talking is what Tidey does, and even though she's not trans, she has a perspective on what it means to be transgender that not many people have.
"I just feel like they want an opportunity to exist completely normally," Tidey said. "It's hard to see when people don't feel like they can do that."
Most Popular
Comments / 0