Open-toed heels and slinky dress

Happy Valentine’s Day weekend. I love Valentine’s Day because I am crazy about the color red and its offspring, pink. Valentine’s Day is also a great excuse to break out the color during the bleak Winter season here in New England.

Ever think about how many different shades of red there are? Probably not. But, I do. Don’t even get me started on pink. And, really we are only a swish away from purple and orange…but, focus. Red.

Red is a warmer color on the color wheel, but we can clearly see how reds become warmer as they move toward orange, and cooler as they move towards blue. See below? The left side has reds with a bluer tone (cooler) and the right side has red with more orange (warmer).

The reason I bring up cool and warm tones of red is to point out that different reds look better on different people. My skin gets a lovely yellowy blah to it in the winter. A greenish undertone. Gorgeous. But that means, according to the info I have below, I should lean towards the warmer color reds. Though, a cool tone like Nars Chinatown might be fetching in a goth sort of way on pasty skin. Idk. Really, who cares. red is red. Pick what you like, no one is going to shoot you for wearing a warm or cool tone despite the rise in gun violence.

Dress up!?

In preparation for Valentine’s Day some of us get the idea to dress up and it’s not so pretty. You can’t just throw yourself into open-toed heels and a slinky dress with rings and bangles without a little preparation, for God sakes!

Shave the legs? Or, just cover them with opaque stockings.

You’ll need a lufa and a tub. Shave the legs? Or, just cover them with opaque stockings. Let’s say for the sake of romance we shave the legs and get a pedicure and a manicure.

All in the name of love we bare our scaly legs and snaggly toes to the professional who has seen it all. She kindly keeps a straight face and breaks out the gardening shears to hack back your toe nails. Now, I’ve prepared you to choose the color that might look best on you with the above chart, and below with the skin tone cheat sheet. So, pick out your warm or cool red and don’t forget to match your lipstick!

This fun lesson is from Beyond Words and perfectly shows the warm and cool differences between the reds and who should wear what! You will be all set to pick your red.

In general, warm undertoned ladies look best in orange-reds, brick-reds, peaches, peachy pinks, and corals while those with cool undertones are complimented by lipsticks in the blue-based red, cranberry, wine, pink reds, and rosy pink spectrum.

Consider the photo above, exhibit A. Both are red lipsticks, right? But, the one on the left is a “cool” red while the one on the right is a “warm” red. Both sets of lips obviously belong to a young, fertile little minx. So, don’t feel badly about your lips in comparison to these above. (It’s all I can do not to recommend the Nora Ephron short story now: I feel Bad About My Neck…funny.)

To make it easier, here’s a little clip and save cheat sheet to keep with you: I have added commentary in parentheses

Warm Undertones

Green veins (I have these)

Silver and platinum jewelry looks best (not so sure…I prefer gold)

Tans doesn’t burn in sun (I tan and burn)

Eye are brown, amber, or hazel (check)

Hair is strawberry blond, red, brown, or black hair with gold, red, orange, or yellow undertones (shot with gray)

Neutrals: off-white, brown, tan (boring!)

Colors: yellow, orange, red (um, not so sure)

Foundation: yellow or peach-based (oh, this is wrong)

Blush: coral or peach (idk)

Lipstick: orange-red, brick-red, peach, peachy pink, coral (sure, why not)

Cool Undertones

Blue veins (I thought we all had blue veins)

Gold jewelry looks best (yay)

Burns in the sun and burn turns pink (not me)

Eyes are blue, gray, or green (nope)

Hair is blond, brown, or black hair but with blue, silver, violet, and ash undertones. (shot with gray)

Neutrals: white whites and true blacks. (white=stains=not practical)

Colors: blue, green, purple (not sure about this)

Foundation: pink-based or neutral (Yeek, pink based…)

Blush: rosy or pink (sure, why not)

Lipstick: blue-based red, cranberry, wine, pink red, and rosy pink

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Keep reading…Next up…Yvonne Lefort….

If you’re looking for your Valentine out there on the open market you’re going to like the following interview with Yvonne Lefort! She is a career counselor and life transition guru who will help you discover you! Keep reading to discover what it takes to Toot Your Own Horn!

Maven of the Week! Yvonne Lefort!

Career and Intercultural Coach and Trainer

Yvonne Lefort was teaching her class called Creating A Fulfilling Life in America® at UC Berkeley to the spouses and partners of postdocs, visiting scholars and graduate students. Most of the spouses were women and all of them were international. The idea of the class was to give the spouses, who had left their lives behind to follow their very busy partner to UC Berkeley, a way to build a new life. At least temporarily. An unhappy spouse makes for an unhappy postdoc or scholar, is what the school found. The class touched upon seeking volunteer work or employment, for those eligible.

When talking about best interviewing practices, Yvonne told the students they needed to “toot their own horns.” They told her they didn’t understand what she meant. She has seen the same challenge in workshops she’s been presenting for postdocs themselves and in her private practice.

Cultures are different, Yvonne points out. In America, we are an Individualistic society. We have all heard the tried and true Americanisms: Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, Self made, Self reliant, God helps those who help themselves. Individualistic. We do know what ‘toot your own horn’ means even if we women aren’t always so great at it. More on that later.

Here is an article about womens and self promotion:

"As women, we're socialized to fulfill a caregiver role and make sure everyone around us is comfortable," says Jessica Broome, founder and president at Southpaw Insights. "We heard from so many women that they don't want to be seen as conceited or boastful, but 83% of women had been inspired by hearing other women's achievements. We have to see the big picture and remember how helpful it is to women, especially young women, when we let our own light shine."

USNews By Robin Madell, Nov. 27, 2019

In Asia, being overly general, she said the focus is on harmony, conformity and what’s best for the team. There is a Japanese saying, “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.” Not individualistic.

Europe has a bit of both. Spain and Portugal are more collectivist and group-oriented, valuing relationships with others. Germany and northern Europe are more like America in that they place a greater value on personal independence. This is all in general.

Just the facts, Jack(ie)

In her class she explained to the students to ‘put their best foot forward’ and to talk about themselves in a positive way thus, “tooting their own horns.’ She told them she did not mean to ‘brag’ about themselves, but to talk about themselves by presenting relevant facts. The ability to talk about oneself in this manner takes practice and may not feel comfortable at first. Yvonne and I talked about how girls were not taught to be assertive in the past, but things may be looking up.

She told me a great little side story about her friend’s daughter who is 27 and realized her value had grown at her company so she did something about it. After doing some serious leg work outside her firm, she arranged for a meeting with her boss. She went into the meeting well prepared. She asked for a raise and a promotion and presented her company with a letter from a competitor with an offer and position matching what she was asking for. She got her raise and position without having to leave her current firm. She did her homework and proved her value with facts. Go team!

The trouble with facts…

A lot of women do suffer from what Yvonne referred to as The Imposter Syndrome. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think. Some women also fear how they’ll be perceived if they self-promote. Assertive women can be considered vulgar and arrogant. Somehow assertive men are not thought of as such. If a woman is being told she needs to toot her own horn and name her strengths to land a job she cannot also have negative thoughts of “am I good enough?” This line of thinking is not good for networking, or job applications, obviously. As Yvonne says, if you want to network, you have to give information about yourself, what you’ve done, how good you are at certain skills that are relevant to the job for which you are applying or seeking.

How to communicate what’s unique and interesting about you without turning the listener off: Practice. With practice we get more comfortable. It makes perfect sense. This is one of the exercises she does in her workshops and in mock interviews with clients. We are meant to look at an interview the way an actress looks at a play. There is a script! There is rehearsal. It becomes natural.

If asked, “what is your greatest strength?” or “tell me about yourself” you have your script ready. Yvonne has you look inside yourself. What are your strengths? Is it organizing space? Managing people? Writing? Then what are your three strengths as they apply to this job? You need to be able to answer for yourself, what are you good at? What do you enjoy? Then you need to learn how to communicate this in a story like fashion.

We shifted gears to the empty nest, career change at midlife, retiring and general life transitions. Helping people “rediscover” themselves is one of the core challenges that people have when they’re in transition. She looks at the question, “who am I now that….” My kids are gone. I am retired. I am divorced. Etc. What is important now? She would have you answer the questions “what are my Interests, Values and Skills” leading to a path of self-rediscovery. My work/life balance? Full-time or part-time? In person?

In addition to working with private clients, Yvonne has created a number of different workshops and women’s groups along the way that have paralleled where she is in her own life. From career into motherhood “Rediscovering Yourself in the Midst of Motherhood®” and then from motherhood into career “Crayons to Careers®”. A piece of advice to pass along to our friends and daughters from Yvonne: “If you’re going to step out of the workforce temporarily to raise kids, try to keep in touch with former co-workers and people in your field”. Go to conferences, go to lunch with colleagues. Try to stay up-to-date and relevant. Take classes.

Or, just find ways to expand your resume. For instance, when Yvonne was a stay at home mom and she was volunteering at her son’s pre-school planning events, she gave herself the title: Social Events Coordinator. See a need and fill it. Then name it, and stick it on your resume.

To learn more about Yvonne’s work or to contact her, visit her website: https://yvonnelefort.net

That’s all for now. I love this dress I am wearing below, it’s reversible! Black on one side, red on the other. On sale. Let me know what you think of the podcast. That’s a Bebe song in the intro called Helium. It’s coming out soon. I hope you have a good enough Valentine’s Day.