Detecting common signs of domestic abuse in relationships

CHARLESTON, WV (WOWK) – The thread that ties every incident of domestic abuse together is one partner holding power and control over another in a relationship.

This comes after an overnight domestic shooting left 32-year-old Chrishawn Perkins dead in a home on Grace Avenue in Charleston . Police said Perkins was shot and killed by his girlfriend after he allegedly beat her multiple times.

Julie Britton is the Director of the Resolve Family Abuse Program at the YWCA in Charleston. She shared some of the most common signs of abuse occurring in relationships.

• Love bombing: when a partner showers the other with constant and intense attention and affection
• Jealousy: being jealous of the time a partner spends with other people, and wanting to know where they are and who they are with at all times
• Isolation: attempting to isolate a partner from their friends or family to prevent them from running away to anyone
• Violence: one partner hurting the other

Britton said it is very common for people to notice these signs in a relationship, but feel fearful of leaving. That’s because it may involve leaving behind a marital partner, children, pets, or even financial security. It’s even normal to make excuses on their behalf.

“There always seems to be a reason that the survivor can look back and say, they haven’t always acted like this. That’s the sneaky part of it. Maybe it definitely doesn’t happen everyday in certain circumstances,” Britton said. “By the time it happens a second and a third time, there’s been enough time to pass where you think if it was really that bad.”

Britton urges anybody who thinks they or a loved one may be in a relationship based on domestic abuse to reach out to an advocate.

“They absolutely are the perfect person, then the mask slowly starts to slide. But it’s enough where you start to question yourself. That’s on purpose. The manipulation, and the mask wearing are absolutely on purpose. That mask doesn’t start to slide until they’ve got you hooked,” Britton said.

There are many resources to turn to if you or a loved one is suffering from domestic abuse.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential, and open 24/7. The number is 1-800-799-7233. You can also text “START” to 88788 or go to their website to chat with someone who can help you, no matter where you are.

It is important to remember internet usage can be monitored. So if you are worried someone will find out about your search for help, delete your browser’s history.

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