"He wants another baby; if I don't agree, he will divorce me," woman on husband

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*This article is a work of nonfiction based on actual events recounted to me by a friend who witnessed them firsthand; used with permission

Raising a family together makes a relationship stronger, but it also brings plenty of challenges. And when you can't agree on how many kids you should have, is it fair for one of the spouses to just try and make the other do what they want and warn them they will leave unless they agree?

Is divorce ever the right way to convince someone to have a baby when you have other kids to look after already?

My friend, Jess, has been married to Rick, her husband, for six years. They have three kids together, and she's a stay-at-home mom.

"I had to give up on my job after the third baby because I just couldn't handle looking after my kids and dealing with work projects. And house chores got so many that I almost didn't have any time to sleep. It's been easier since I'm home, but I still try hard to stay organized. My mom comes by to help me when I feel overwhelmed, but I am ok most days," Jess said.

While Rick agreed his wife should stay home because their kids needed her, he wasn't too happy when he needed to do overtime to cover all the bills.

"It's not that I couldn't do it. But it just felt like I was the only one bringing in any money. And her work mattered, and the kids were happy, but then again, when we got the bills, it was only me paying," Rick said.

Jess asked him if he would rather she found some part-time work so he didn't feel stressed, but he refused. And as they got closer to their anniversary, Rick got a different idea about his family and his relationship.

He felt it would be worth it working so much if they could have another baby. And that way, in his opinion, his wife would be busy enough for her housework to count as if she actually had a job.

"With four kids, I would have a complete family. And then Jess would really be having to deal with just as many things as I must at work in the office. It would be balancing things out in our relationship. And I'm sure we'd both be happier with another baby. I had three sisters, I should know," Rick said.

As soon as she found out about Rick's idea, Jess said no. She's barely ok with three kids, and she doesn't think they can afford to have another baby for now.

"Why would he ever think about that? Three kids are plenty, and I'm exhausted most days, and I'm not sure where our relationship is headed. I can't handle being pregnant again and having a baby to keep me up at night, too," Jess said.

Unfortunately, Rick thinks another baby is very important to their relationship. He's even willing to let their marriage go if she won't agree to do what he says.

"What's so complicated about it? I'm sure it won't be that much work; she's just making up an excuse. I will go through with the divorce and give up on our relationship if she doesn't agree. And that's final," Rick said.

Jess still hopes he might change his mind once she gets a chance to explain some more and make Rick realize it's not a good time for another baby. And that they're ok with just three kids permanently.

"He wants another baby; if I don't agree, he will divorce me. But we barely manage the costs as it is. Another baby would be too much, and I would have to go back to work. And then it would be even worse than now. Because we would have to pay a babysitter, too," Jess said.

In the meantime, Rick talked to his parents, and they support his decision and want to have another grandson or granddaughter. They even offered to look after the baby to support Jess and their relationship.

What do you think about this situation? Is it ok for Rick to make his wife agree to his condition and say he will divorce unless he gets his way? Should Jess stand her ground and refuse if she doesn't feel ready to have another baby, even if that might mean the end of her relationship with Rick?