A ceremony of ‘joy and grief’ marks four decades since Charlie Howard’s murder

More than 100 people gathered in downtown Bangor on Sunday morning to remember the 40th anniversary of one of the darkest days in the city’s history: the murder of a young man named Charlie Howard , who was killed on July 7, 1984 because he was gay.

Howard, who was 23 at the time of his death, was thrown over a bridge on State Street into the Kenduskeag Stream by three teenagers, who were later convicted of murder and sentenced to detention at the Maine Youth Center.

His death sent shockwaves through the community and galvanized a nascent Maine LGBTQ+ movement, including the formation of the Maine Lesbian and Gay Political Alliance, which eventually became EqualityMaine, the state’s oldest and largest LGBTQ+ organization.

“Charlie should have been able to walk down any street and not fear for his life. We shouldn’t have to ask permission to be ourselves,” said Gia Drew, executive director of EqualityMaine, who spoke at the memorial. “We are here today because of what happened. The light that was inside of Charlie has passed on from person to person. And that light will never go out.”

The memorial was organized by EqualityMaine, Health Equity Alliance, the Needlepoint Sanctuary and a number of local churches, including the Unitarian Universalist Society of Bangor, a church that Howard himself was a part of.

A memorial service was held at the UU Church, after which people walked in a processional down Park Street hill toward the bridge where Howard drowned four decades ago. After a ceremony at the bridge, participants threw flowers into the Kenduskeag Stream, next to a granite memorial to Howard that was installed in 2004. Howard, who was remembered as a gentle, fun-loving young man, loved flowers.

“From generation to generation, we have a tendency to wander and forget what has happened in the past,” said the Rev. Drew Moeller, minister of the Bangor UU Church. “We cannot forget that we all must stand up for the rights of all people, LGBTQIA+ people, people of color, all marginalized people.”

Howard’s murder, like the 1993 murder of Brandon Teena, a Nebraska trans man, and the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming gay man, were hate crimes that put faces to the discrimination and violence that LGBTQ people faced daily across the country. Howard faced relentless bullying throughout his life, but refused to be forced into the closet or to pretend he was something he wasn’t, despite the constant threat of violence.

In the 40 years since Howard’s murder, the state and the country have made great strides in giving basic human rights to LGBTQ people, including Maine outlawing discrimination against people on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity in 2005, and Maine becoming the first state to approve same-sex marriage at the ballot box in 2012. That was followed in 2015 by the U.S. Supreme Court ruling that same-sex marriage was a fundamental right nationwide.

Cara Pelletier, Bangor’s city council chairperson and a member of the queer community, said that despite all that, there is still much work to be done to ensure that we live in a state and country that respects the human rights of all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

“I feel this weird mix of joy and grief today, as I see all the people here to support and uplift our community and remember Charlie,” Pelletier said. “And yet, there is still so much to do. The fight is far from over.”