3 things you should never tell your manager, from an HR professional

• Valerie Rodriguez, an HR director, advises against oversharing personal details with managers.
• The modern workplace encourages authenticity, but oversharing can lead to uncomfortable situations.
• Rodriguez says sharing things like weekend plans and personal problems can hurt more than help.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Valerie Rodriguez, a 31-year-old human-resources director in New Jersey. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I've worked in human resources for 10 years, mainly partnering with business leaders to promote best practices. I'm responsible for making people feel seen, heard, and accepted at work.

The modern workplace has become an environment where people are encouraged to be themselves and not care what others think. Many employees believe that if they're accepted at work, that's phenomenal. If they're not, it's not the right workplace for them.

With that shift, more employees feel empowered to bring their whole selves to work . This can sometimes lead to oversharing information they shouldn't, which can put them in an uncomfortable position in the future because they revealed too much.

Here are three things I'd never say to my manager, because they can hurt you more than help you.

1. Your weekend plans

I'd be careful sharing your weekend plans, especially if they involve going to a concert, partying, lounges, raves, or anything that might make your manager think you're irresponsible or reckless.

A friend recently told me that she'd called out sick from work, and when she returned, there were rumors going around that she was probably at a concert or a party instead.

When I asked why people would make that assumption, she said she'd told her manager in the past that she loves going to concerts, so they assumed that's what she was doing.

I told my friend it was wrong that her manager jumped to that conclusion and shared it with others, but I also advised her to err on the side of caution and be more private about weekend plans.

Some managers will associate what you do outside work with what you do at work, and you don't want that. It can be nice to share positive, responsible, or encouraging things that make you look good, but don't candidly tell your manager, "I got so drunk last night."

2. Personal problems at home

Another thing I've seen come back on people repeatedly is when they lead their managers to think they aren't focused or that their mind is on a personal problem instead of work.

An example is: "I just argued with my partner, and they're driving me crazy. We argued about X, Y, and Z, and because of it, I'm not in the best mood." That opens a door for your manager to assume you can't separate work and your personal life.

You don't want your manager to conclude that chaos at home makes you unfit for your role or that it's too much for you to handle.

To be fair, we're all humans, not robots. Sometimes we think about home at work, but you still want to be careful with what you share. If your manager has set the tone that everyone on the team can share personal things, it may be a safer space.

If you need to take personal time, it's OK to say you have a personal emergency. Keep in mind that you don't always have to share what exactly your emergency is. Every organization views this differently, but for the most part, you can be vague.

3. Disliking your coworker for their personality

If you dislike a coworker because they're obnoxious, spread gossip, or for anything related to their personality, I would avoid sharing that with your manager.

You should also avoid saying things like, "I hate the way that coworker laughs," or "Their outfits are ridiculous," etc. If you don't like something about your coworker because it's not your preference, then it's inappropriate for sharing.

I wouldn't tell a coworker these things about another coworker, either. Unfortunately, people like to talk and can share what you've said with others, including your manager. You don't know what your manager will do with that information, and it can appear you're potentially focused on the wrong things. Ultimately, you may be seen as not a good fit for the team.

Now, here's the thing: If your coworker is missing deliverables, is unreliable, or doesn't meet certain expectations, and you feel that you need to share this with leadership, I think that can be appropriate.

My advice is to be careful about what you share at work — consider what you're saying before saying it. I've seen people share something, quickly realize they can't take it back, and then feel uncomfortable at work, or their coworkers feel uncomfortable working with them. It happens more often than you might think.