19 Devastating Stories From People With Divorced Parents That'll Make You Think Twice About Getting Married

Going through a divorce sucks, especially when you're a kid stuck in the middle.

I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share when they knew their parents' marriage was doomed. Here are the most heartbreaking stories:

Note: Some submissions are from this Reddit thread .

Warning: Some responses in this post mention abuse.

1. "I was sitting in my treehouse, listening to them argue again, and thought 'My parents were getting a divorce.' I was 8. I remember feeling surreal, almost an out-of-body experience. It was the death of my childhood leaving my body."

2. "I never saw them hug, kiss, or exchange any other signs of love like they did with me. I found it odd. I could see they were different than other married couples I knew. In hindsight, this was a huge red flag. I didn't know what divorce was...I was 3."

— mudda8139

3. "They were sleeping in different rooms because of 'back issues.'"

4. "Honestly, I think I always knew. My parents didn't split until right after I graduated from high school, but growing up their marriage didn't seem right. I always thought it should be more than it was. They didn't fight or anything, they just didn't talk to each other. I knew it was over after a conversation with my older sister where my mother had commented on leaving my dad. I knew that what she said wasn't wrong, but I was still pretty messed up about it to the point where I broke down crying when I got home. When my parents got home shortly after, they came into my room. Mom asked what was wrong, I told her, and she confirmed that she was leaving my dad. This was a week before I was set to move towns so I could start school and coincidentally the same moment that my dad found out. Needless to say, freshman year of college didn't get off to the best start."

— mo2758

5. "When my mom called the house drunk at 3 a.m. from her cousin's house to tell my dad she was seeing someone else and I was the one who answered the phone."

6. "It should have been the time he hit her, broke her glasses, and tore out a hunk of her hair, but I think it was really when she got a job and people there convinced her she was worth something."

—Anonymous

7. "I knew my parents needed to divorce when holidays became really awkward. Christmas wasn't like it normally was. It was always filled with the silent treatment or awkward tension. My dad was also a major narcissist so there's that."

8. "I was 7 years old when I knew something wasn't right between my parents. One day the house phone rang, I answered it, and to my surprise, I heard another woman's voice asking to speak with my father. I responded with, 'May I ask who's calling?' She replied, 'Hi (insert my name)! My name is (not my mom's name). I'm a friend of your dad's.' I had no idea who the woman was. By the time I tried to ask another probing question, my mom grabbed the phone from me and asked who it was. When I responded with the woman's name, the look on my mother's face was something I'll never forget. I'm 31 BTW. Fast forward two years later, my parents officially separated after being together for 17 years. I found out as a teenager that my dad never married my mom and he cheated on her with multiple women, including the lady from the phone."

—Anonymous, Kentucky, Georgia

9. "We moved to be closer to my grandparents, or at least that was my dad's cover story. He was cheating on my mom with another woman. One night my sister and I woke up to find my parents arguing. He had been caught sneaking in. He moved out not long after into one of my grandfather's properties and my mom started working at my elementary school. They were divorced by my sixth birthday."

10. "When my dad cut our last family vacation short and drove all night to get home early. We later found out it was to get back to his girlfriend."

— carolineaveritt

11. "My mom took us kids to see her parents and dad stayed home. In the 48 hours we were gone, my dad built an entire room with a locked door in the basement. No explanation. Then, things around the house went missing and my dad kept disappearing into this new room. One morning, I was woken up by them arguing. 'What am I supposed to do without a toaster, David?!' My 10-year-old self realized my dad built a room so he could hide all the stuff he wanted before he filed for divorce. So...it was a toaster."

12. "We had no idea. One day we were in the den watching TV. When I say we, I mean me, my brother, and his friend, the son of this other couple my parents were friends with. My mother came to the den and said, 'Kids, family meeting in the living room.' My brother's friend was confused and asked, 'Me too?' 'Yes, you too,' she said. Super confused now we went to the living room and were completely surprised to see all of our parents sitting there, looking serious. That's when they told us our friend's dad had fallen in love with our mom, his mom had fallen in love with our dad, and this weekend the moms were switching houses, which they did. We were all floored and none of us kids had seen it coming. Our family was the talk of the town for a while."

— u/foxyfree

13. "When I was 5 my parents used to argue every night. One day they gathered my brother and me together and somberly said they had something to tell us. Before they could say another word I said, 'You're getting a divorce.' I think that was the most surprised I've ever seen them, but that's what happens when you underestimate young kids."

14. "My folks didn't fight, but I was about 10 when my mom let me know she and my dad would get divorced when I was done with high school. Freshman year of college, they divorced. It was pretty amicable, honestly, but it ruined my concept of trusting relationships."

— u/Helenesdottir

15. "I knew my parents' marriage was ending when they were constantly fighting. My siblings and I were often sent to our grandparents' house. Some guy was coming over a lot and sleeping on the couch. And I knew their marriage was over when my parents sat us down and told us they were getting a divorce, and then my dad told me that my mom was dating that guy."

16. "Probably controversial with sleep divorces getting mainstream, but for me an early red flag to my parents' divorce was them sleeping not just in in separate rooms but on separate floors of our home."

—Anonymous, Iowa

17. "My parents absolutely despise each other and were planning on divorcing when I was about 5 years old. And then mom got pregnant and they decided to stay together for the children. Fast forward to me being 18 years old, getting into an argument with my dad, and him telling me that I'm the reason he and my mom are getting a divorce. I got in my car and drove away. He followed me, apologized, and tried to take back what he said."

18. "I was about 11 when they got divorced. It was obvious they shouldn't have been together because they treated each other like crap. My dad was abusive and my mom, who is a passive-aggressive person, was abusive in a reactionary way. They always fought and the cops were involved at some point, too. I accidentally found my dad's diary while playing hide and seek. I think I was about 7 or 8 maybe. They were all letters to his deceased dad essentially saying how he neither wanted to be married nor a father and he didn't know what to do."

"My mom was also very candid about what my dad would do to her (stalking, screaming, hitting, etc.) and how she knew he was constantly cheating because she would get infections. I've known more intimate information about my parents than my brothers. My brothers only saw the surface-level issues, but as the only daughter and youngest, I heard a lot more. It really warped my perception of love and marriage."

— angelicpotato205

19. And finally, "I came home from school and found a brochure on the kitchen table: How to Tell Your Kids You're Getting a Divorce."

If you have divorced parents, how did you know their relationship was over? Share your story in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.