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Deseret News
Disillusioned with dating apps, some single people are turning to more creative dating methods
By Natalie Issa,
13 hours ago
Eliza Anderson, Deseret News
With dating apps becoming less and less popular — 79% of Gen Z said they felt “dating app burnout,” according to a Forbes Health survey — single people are trying to meet people in real life again, and some are employing creative methods to do so.
As The Atlantic declared earlier this year, “America is sick of swiping.”
“Dating apps once looked like the foundation of American romance,” Lora Kelly wrote for The Atlantic. “Now the cracks are starting to show.”
Where did dating apps go wrong?
While many adults still use dating apps — 3 in 10, according to Pew Research Center — only 1 in 10 “partnered adults” “met their current significant other through a dating site or app.”
The effectiveness of dating apps aside, endlessly swiping is proving to be taxing on younger generations specifically.
More people are feeling dating app burnout
According to a Forbes Health survey , 78% of those polled feel dating app fatigue, but it’s hitting younger generations the hardest.
Eighty percent of millennials and 79% of Gen Z said they’re feeling burnt out on the apps, Forbes Health found.
Rufus Tony Spann, a member of the Forbes Health Advisory Board, told Forbes Health, “People who experience burnout with dating apps are exhausted from constantly meeting new people, failing opportunities and lies.”
He continued, “Over time, the unfortunate misgivings of being on a dating app can cause someone to lose hope in the dating process and finding the right person.”
According to the survey, the most common reasons why those polled are feeling dating app burnout are:
“The inability to find a good connection with someone else” (40%).
“Being disappointed by people” (35%).
Getting rejected (27%).
Participating in “repetitive conversations while chatting with multiple matches” (24%).
Endlessly swiping through “potential matches” (22%).
The total time “spent using the apps” (21%).
While both Gen Z and millennials are exhausting by dating apps, it’s Gen Z that’s ditching the apps at higher rates.
According to a 2023 Statista survey , 18- to 29-year-olds made up 26% of people on dating apps, while 30- to 49-year-olds made up 61%.
Dating apps are getting expensive
Not only have users’ attitudes changed toward dating apps, the apps themselves have massively changed.
Although users used to be able to swipe for free, “the apps are further turning to subscriptions and other paid features,” according to The Atlantic .
Most of the popular dating apps have done this. According to CNN , Tinder created a $499 monthly premium subscription in December, which requires a “coveted invitation” and a “application process” to be allowed entry. The subscription totals roughly $6,000 a year.
Additionally, Hinge allows users to send one free “rose” a week to another user — sending your profile “at the top of their feed,” per The Atlantic. If you want more roses, you have to pay.
Bumble, another popular dating app, similarly offers a monthly subscription that gives users unlimited likes and swipes, access to advanced filters and more, according to its website .
But paying for dating app subscriptions is a risky gamble. According to The Atlantic, “Paying for a dating-app subscription can feel like entering a lottery: exciting but potentially a waste of money (with an added dose of worry that you look desperate).”
Dating apps’ attempt to drum up a profit might not be working.
Match Group, which owns the industry’s most popular dating apps (Hinge, Tinder and more) saw an 8% drop in paid Tinder subscribers, according to BBC . Additionally, the company’s “stock price has been trading down at more than 60% on its 2021 peak.”
As a result, Match Group “plans to cut 6% of its global workforce.”
Single people are getting creative
In part because of their disillusionment with dating apps, some single people have turned to some more creative dating methods.
As The Washington Post reported in August, Philadelphia resident David Cline took matters into in his own hands — and bought a billboard to advertise his dating eligibility.
The billboard read, “Dave is single! Want to go on a DATE with DAVE? Message him at: Date_Dave_Philly.”
As Cline told The Washington Post, he was sick of dating apps. The billboard began as a joke among his friends, but it’s “done a really good job at showcasing my specific type of humor and my personality,” he said.
Other single people are making similar pleas to the public.
Last year, Eve Tilley-Coulson went viral on TikTok for offering $5,000 to anyone who introduces her to her future husband.
“The bet/offer is if you introduce me to my husband and I marry him, I will give you $5,000,” she said.
“I’ve been single for about five years now, meeting people in person and on the apps,” Tilley-Coulson told the New York Post . “But since COVID, there’s been a weird shift in dating culture — guys don’t approach you in person, and most of the men on apps aren’t swiping to seriously date.
She continued, “So I feel like paying $5,000 for a husband who’s vouched for, meets my needs and is ready for a real relationship is totally worth it.”
Similarly, as The San Fransisco Standard reported, one man’s friends plastered a “singles ad flyer” on telephone poles in San Fransisco to help find him a girlfriend.
It began as a joke — the flyer called bachelor Matt Wheeler “hot,” “very tall” and “emotionally secure” — but wading through all the applicants “became a full time job.”
Wheeler and his friends eventually threw a party and invited “the interested women, plus any of their single friends (both male and female).”
But most single people are taking less extreme measures.
According to The Cut , “Sports are the new dating apps.” Reportedly, more people are joining sports clubs — like running or pickleball clubs — to meet fellow single people.
And, apparently, it’s working. Evy, social co-chair of New York City’s Prospect Park Track Club, told The Cut that a single night hosted by the club last year “had roughly 120 attendees” and “spawned multiple relationships.”
There are other, similar events for singles popping up across the country. Pitch-A-Friend events, where people can “prepare a 3-5 minute slide presentation highlighting the exceptional qualities of their single friend and why others should consider dating them,” are hosted in 29 cities and counting.
And, as USA Today reported earlier this year, speed dating is becoming more popular. According to Eventbrite , an events app, “Eventbrite, the ultimate source for gathering IRL, has seen speed dating events surge 63%” from 2021 to 2022.
As the company shared with USA Today, there’s been a “30% increase in singles and dating events” and a “43% increase in attendance at these events over the same period.”
Dating apps are struggling, but they’re likely not going anywhere
While dating apps are losing their appeal, they’re still convenient.
According to a Forbes Health survey , 45% of those polled said that dating apps were “the top spot for meeting someone to date.”
As Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld told The Atlantic , the pandemic stunted younger people’s ability to flirt in real life and date, and, as he put it, “they’re still suffering from that.”
As Christine Emba, columnist for the The Atlantic and author of “Rethinking Sex: A Provocation,” told the Deseret News last year, it’s “hard to be optimistic about” dating. But, with the recent push for meeting people in real life, maybe things can get better.
“It’s hard for one person to change the dating scene,” Emba said at the time, “But if a lot of people begin to change, like how a lot of people moved to dating apps, maybe the reverse will happen.”
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