11 Rules That Are the Key to a Happy and Long Life

Photo byMidjourney AI

Get rid of these eleven negative behavior patterns and you will see many of your problems disappear:

1. Your thoughts create problems.

Our mind is a powerful tool that can shape our reality. When we allow negative thoughts to dominate, they create many problems. Often, they are not related to real events or the actions of others, but are a product of our harmful thinking habits.

As Buddha stated: "We are what we think. Everything we are comes into being with our thoughts. With our thoughts we create the world."

2. Don't exaggerate.

When we exaggerate, we increase our anxiety and hinder our ability to approach the situation rationally. We create images of grandiose disasters from minor setbacks, leading to worry and anxiety that are often in vain. This may be an attempt to appear more important, but such behavior is not only foolish, it is also harmful.

3. Give up useless rules .

Most of the “shoulds” and “musts” you carry around like a burden are probably useless. They only cause stress and guilt. Why torture yourself? By following these made-up norms, you clutter your mind with unnecessary barriers and childish limitations. And when you try to impose these rules on others, you become a boring moralist or a self-righteous dogmatist.

4. Don't rush to conclusions.

This can make life difficult because we begin to act on assumptions that are often wrong. We also tend to think that we can understand the motives of others, but this is rarely true, and this misconception can ruin relationships.

Confucius said: "He who draws conclusions without sufficient reflection is like an archer who shoots in the dark."

5. Avoid stereotypes and labels .

The words you choose can come back to haunt you. Negative and judgmental language breeds these thoughts. By trying to fit things into a certain box, you lose the ability to see their true essence, thereby limiting your perception to the point of uselessness. Look around without prejudice. You will be amazed at what you discover.

6. Don't strive for perfection .

Life is not always black and white, and it is not always “all or nothing.” In most cases, “enough” really is enough. If you look for the perfect job, you will probably never find it. At the same time, all other options will seem not good enough. If you look for the perfect relationship, you will probably spend your whole life alone. Perfectionism is a habit that will not allow you to enjoy life, but will constantly make you search for something that does not exist.

As Niccolò Machiavelli believed: “It is better to do and regret than not to do and regret.”

7. Don't generalize.

Don't let failures control your self-perception. Occasional success doesn't make you a prodigy, just as sporadic failures don't make you a permanent loser. Events, whether favorable or unfavorable, are not always harbingers of long-term trends. In most cases, they are just coincidences, nothing more.

8. Don't trust emotions.

Don't let your emotions control your perception of reality. What you feel does not necessarily reflect the truth. Emotions can be caused by fatigue, hunger, irritation, or just a bad mood. Your feelings, good or bad, will not change the future. They may be genuine, but they are not the absolute truth.

9. Don't take it personally.

Don't take everything that happens around you too personally. Most of the time, people, including your friends and colleagues, are not thinking about you; they are busy with their own lives. People in your organization or neighbors may not even know you exist. The ups and downs, the warmth or indifference of others towards you, do not reflect who you are. If they are pretending, it only deepens your dissatisfaction.

"Take nothing to heart. Few things in life remain important for long." Erich Maria Remarque

10. Don’t give in to apathy.

Don't let indifference steal your life energy. Develop optimism in yourself. Expecting failure attracts it like a magnet. A pessimistic view of the world is like dirty glasses through which only the shortcomings are visible, and everything else remains behind the scenes. Surprisingly, if you start looking for the good, you will definitely find it.

11. Don't live in the past.

Don't hold on to the past, that's key advice. Much of the bitterness, disappointment, suffering, and despair in this world comes from those who can't let go of past hurts and problems. The more you dwell on them, the bigger they will seem, and the worse you will feel. Don't fight the suffering. Let go of the past and move on. That way, you'll take away its power to hurt you.

Which rule did you like the most? Share in the comments!