Why we get sick, why loneliness is beneficial and other wisdom lessons from psychologist Erich Fromm

Erich Fromm, one of the most influential thinkers of the 20th century, left an indelible mark on sociology, psychoanalysis, and philosophy. His work is imbued with a profound understanding of human nature and a desire to understand how society influences individual consciousness and behavior.

Fromm was also a proponent of humanistic psychoanalysis, which emphasizes the human capacity for change and growth. He believed that love and creative work could help a person overcome feelings of isolation and meaninglessness, which he saw as the main problems in modern society.

His ideas that a person should strive for a life filled with meaning and self-realization remain relevant today and inspire many to search for harmony in themselves and in the world around them.

Today we have a selection of the best quotes from Erich Fromm that shed light on his wisdom.

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1. Our moral problem is man's indifference to himself.

In a world where self-care is often mistaken for selfishness and self-love for narcissism, it’s easy to see how disconnected we have become from our own needs, emotions, and values. We value external validation over internal fulfillment, seeking approval and self-affirmation from the outside world while ignoring the whispers of our own souls. This indifference manifests itself in toxic relationships we cling to out of fear of loneliness, and in the silent suffering of people who mask their pain behind a mask of strength out of fear of vulnerability and judgment.

2. No one can "save" his neighbor by making a choice for him. All that one person can do to help another is to reveal to him truthfully and lovingly, but without sentimentality and illusions, the existence of an alternative.

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3. We are what we have taught ourselves and what others have taught us about ourselves.

Our sense of identity is shaped not only by our own perceptions, but also by the impressions that others leave of us. Our sense of self is inextricably linked to how others perceive us.

The messages we receive from friends, family, colleagues, and society at large, whether in words, actions, or gestures, serve as a mirror reflecting aspects of ourselves that we cannot always see. These external impressions, whether positive or negative, help shape our self-image and influence how we navigate the world around us.

4. Only a person who believes in himself is able to believe in others.

In the complex web of human relationships, trust is the cornerstone on which connections are built and strengthened. At the core of this trust is a fundamental truth: only those who believe in themselves can believe in others. This symbiosis between self-belief and trust forms the basis for genuine connections and meaningful interactions.

Our confidence becomes a source of inspiration, encouraging others to trust our judgment, our abilities, and our intentions. Conversely, people who lack self-confidence may have difficulty extending trust to others.

5. As important as it is to avoid idle talk, it is equally important to avoid bad company.

Small talk, characterized by superficiality, gossip, and triviality, adds nothing of substance or value. It leaves us feeling empty, disconnected, and unfulfilled. These interactions, while seemingly harmless, contribute to feelings of stagnation and disconnection, preventing us from making genuine connections and deepening our understanding of ourselves and others. In fact, as important as it is to avoid small talk that leaves us feeling empty and disconnected, it is equally important to stay away from bad company that undermines our well-being and potential.

6. Death itself is terrible, but the thought of having to die without having lived is unbearable.

While death itself can be frightening and saddening, it is the prospect of leaving this world without having truly lived that strikes at the core of our souls. The thought of an unfulfilled existence, of leaving behind unfulfilled dreams and unexplored passions, is truly too heavy a burden to bear.

We are confronted with the disturbing truth that life is not a dress rehearsal, but a stage on which we must use every moment with courage, intention, and purpose.

7. The unhappy fate of many people is a consequence of the choices they failed to make.

In the labyrinth of life, the path we take is often determined by the choices we make, and sometimes by the choices we fail to make. Each day presents us with a multitude of choices, from the mundane to the monumental, from the routine to the radical. Yet in the face of uncertainty, fear, and doubt, it is all too easy to succumb to the paralysis of inaction, clinging to the safety of the familiar and the comfort of the known.

However, often by refusing to make choices, we inadvertently choose a path of stagnation, regret, and unrealized potential. We become trapped in indecision, watching helplessly as opportunities slip through our fingers and dreams disappear into the abyss of “what ifs” and “could haves.”

8. In a hurry to have, we forget to be!

In the frantic pace of modern existence, it is all too easy to fall into the trap of constantly striving, endlessly searching, and relentlessly pushing forward in our quest for success, achievement, and fulfillment. However, in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we often lose sight of a fundamental truth: in our rush to acquire, to achieve, we neglect the simple yet essential act of being present in the moment.

In pursuit of material wealth, social status or professional success, we often sacrifice precious moments of togetherness, joy and serenity that await us here and now. We are so absorbed in our aspirations and ambitions that we forget to enjoy the simple joys of life – the laughter of loved ones, the beauty of nature, the tranquility of solitude.

9. A man who cannot create wants to destroy.

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10. Oddly enough, the ability to be alone is a condition of the ability to love.

The ability to be alone – to find comfort and contentment in one’s own company – is essential to the authentic expression of love. In the silence of solitude, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and introspection, laying the foundation for genuine connection and compassion for others.

11. Illness is essentially nothing more than a desire for something that should not be desired.

In the maze of human experience, illness often appears as a confusing puzzle – a manifestation of physical, emotional, or spiritual dissonance that defies easy explanation. Yet if we peel back the layers of symptoms and diagnoses, we may discover a deeper truth lurking beneath the surface: illness, at its core, is a reflection of unfulfilled desires – a yearning for something that should not be desired.

The relentless pursuit of desires can negatively impact our physical health, undermine our immune system, disrupt our hormonal balance, and exacerbate chronic illnesses. The stress and strain associated with constantly striving to achieve the unattainable can weaken our resilience and leave us vulnerable to a host of ailments, from chronic pain and fatigue to anxiety and depression.

12. Man has become a commodity and views his life as capital to be invested profitably. If he succeeds in this, his life has meaning, and if not, he is a loser. His value is determined by demand, and not by his human qualities: kindness, intelligence, artistic abilities.

Which statement did you like the most? Share in the comments!