August 28: A quick rewind to August 16 when I hit my first shots for three years during a 30-minute session on the range.
That was 12 days ago and due to this and that – it’s always this and that – I’m stood on the first tee at Bentham GC in North Yorkshire not having swung a club since.
Probably even worse, I haven’t actually hit a putt since 2021. The plan was to spend 20 minutes on the putting green before play but again due to our friends, this and that, I only arrived at the tee box with a minute to spare.
So, as I stand there, Titleist G25 driver in hand, I take a moment to reflect. This is my first round of golf in three years and just the second since 2019.
With just one range session under my belt (nearly a fortnight ago) and only a vague recollection of how to hold a putter, there’s every reason to believe that this will be a disaster.
That said, lack of expectation is often a friend not a foe. In my head, I’ve already given myself a pass. Forget trying to get anywhere near 90, I’m giving myself permission to shoot in the 120s with perhaps a few good holes along the way.
As I prepare to hit on what is a calm, slightly overcast day (see picture above), I can see a fairly narrow fairway with trees down the left and some driving range nets awaiting anything carved right. Obviously, a quick “I could hit those” thought runs through my mind as I view the nets for a second time.
But, no, I sweep one away down the fairway. Decent connection too although not very far on a hole measuring 377 yards. I’ll take that.
Five shots later after a topped second, fat third, decent wedge and two putts I’m scribbling a ‘6’ on my scorecard. It’s a double bogey but ‘6’ is kinda okay, right? World No.1 Scottie Scheffler had both a ‘6’ and a ‘7’ on his card during last week’s BMW Championship.
I then mistakenly play the 18th, thinking it’s the 2nd, and card another double-bogey 6. Again, I’ll take it.
The actual 2nd is Stroke Index 1 despite being a Par 5. There’s a couple of decent hits in there but it’s an ‘8’ due to some sloppy – let’s say rusty – work around the greens.
And so the round progresses and, honestly, I’m striking the ball far better than expected.
I hit seven of the next eight fairways – all with driver – and make decent connection with the majority of my irons.
I’m an absolute machine on the greens. By that though, I mean I’m reliable and churning out the same result. And that, in my case, is a two-putt.
I two-putt my first nine holes and 14 of the 18 overall. I need three swishes on a trio of occasions (9, 11 and 16) and one-putt (hurrah!) the 13th.
Breaking down the numbers
For this project, I think it’s a good idea to try and record fairways, greens and putts. All amateur hackers like me have a sense of our (relative) strengths, weaknesses and very weaknesses and stats provide clear evidence.
And it’s pretty brutal evidence in my case.
So, let’s cut to the chase and see those scores on the doors.
Fairways hit: 8 of 14 Greens in regulation: 1 Putts: 38
Outward 9: 54 Inward 9: 48 Score: 102
Yes, you read that right: one green in regulation. In fairness, I reckon I was 5-10 feet off finding the putting surface in the right number on about six other occasions but there’s no getting away from how atrocious that is. One!
Despite that sobering reality, I hit some fairly good irons (for my level) even though they weren’t quite straight enough.
And my irons would also like to say at this point that often they had no chance of a G.I.R. given the short distance my drives were going.
Taking 38 putts is obviously no good either but perhaps understandable given the sheer negligence towards my flatstick. I holed one putt over four feet, an eight footer at the last.
“We definitely don’t spend enough time on how well we do something.”
“As a club golfer, we could mark ourselves at the end of a round. We could have a grading out of five for our mental, physical and technical performance. Performance is a mixture of those three things and it’s the ability to pull all those three individual skills together on any given day to go perform.”
Taking the first point, I’m trying to break 90 for the first time in over a decade. Shooting 102 in my first round back for three years and second since 2019 really wasn’t too bad.
And, guess what, due to some pretty straight driving I didn’t lose a single ball.
At the start of the back nine, I played a five-hole sequence in bogey, double bogey (three-putt from nowhere), bogey, par, par. That’s five over for five holes.
As my round was on a par 71, averaging a bogey every hole i.e. playing to a handicap of 18, would have seen me go round in 89.
In other words, taking a positive view on today’s evidence, breaking 90 isn’t the stuff of fairies.
There’s a long way to go and I’m very aware that sometimes when resuming a sport – this has happened to me in golf – the first game back can actually be better than expected. It’s from the second onwards that the old habits return and the reality kicks in.
I also have to say I winced when looking back at some action shots/videos my playing partner took.
A cruel analysis is that I’m swinging it like an old man. I mean, at 55, I am an old man I suppose. Although, as I do park runs and still dress as if Oasis were just hitting the charts in the 90s rather than reforming, I refuse to believe I’m a codger.
But watching my knees dip as I hit a drive and how low my arms are as I swing the club back, I’m mildly appalled. I love elegant actions in sportspeople and have always tried to incorporate it so, frankly, the video footage fills me with massive disappointment. Is that really me?
My rhythm is pretty good which saves the day a little bit but, technique-wise, there is much to do. No wonder I hit it no distance at all.
However, as Duncan McCarthy says above, to get an overall view of how a round went, we could judge our mental, physical and technical performance.
Mentally, I’ll give myself 4.5 out of 5 as I stayed calm, appreciated the good shots and only displayed absolutely minor disappointment at the poor ones or missed putts.
The physical and technical: perhaps 3.5 and 3.
Beyond a quick mention that my one bunker shot involved thinning it over the green towards a different hole altogether, I shall take the positives, head back to the range and buy one of those putting aids you can use in hallways.
A round of 102 is a marker put down. A base camp. Now to continue the climb. Only 13 shots to knock off.
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