A Veuve Clicquot tent. Rows of teepees lining the campsites. Champagne fish and chips for lunch followed by a chef's table banquet for dinner. This is Wilderness Festival.
A far-cry from the mud and chaos of Glastonbury, this serene haven provides a weekend of music, arts, and wellness to the masses.
Nestled in the leafy Oxfordshire countryside, stepping foot into the grounds it's clear to see the 10,000-strong crowd is largely made up of city workers and suburban housewives who can otherwise be found lingering outside the local Gail's, waiting to pick their children up from a nearby Montessori.
But this weekend in August is their escapism; their chance to let loose, party, and dress up for the occasion, all while embracing their utmost poshness.
So, we got among the regulars, and quizzed them on the poshest things they'd seen at what's consistently been dubbed the UK's 'most luxury' festival.
"I've seen people going to pick their children up from the nanny service", one man in a pink wig told us - insisting that "he's Northern" and they "don't do this sort of thing up there".
Hearing the comments, someone chimes in, claiming that they allegedly worked as a nanny at the festival in a previous year. They wrote to us: "The parents could only book them in for one night max, but so many wanted their kids taken care of for the whole festival."
We meet another punter in a lavish purpose-built IHG Hotels pop-up bar, complete with curated interiors and a badminton court. She's embracing the day's theme in a diamante leotard, complete with light-up wings, and has a gold Yves Saint Laurent bag draped over her shoulder.
"It's definitely posh, the toilets here are always immaculate!", she laughs. "I am staying in boutique camping so that might be why."
She then goes onto reveal: "I know the guys from the stately home [Cornbury House] have super posh parties...it's the Saltburn of festivals."
While pondering over a mid-afternoon French cheeseboard, we managed to catch up with TV stars Andi and Miquita Oliver.
After recording a live podcast and giving us the lowdown on the best cheese and wine pairings (Comte goes lovely with Pinot Noir, by the way), they indulged us in some of the happenings they'd seen around the festival.
"I have to say badminton at a festival's rather classy!", Miquita says. "I'm very sporty so the fact I'm able to play sport here I'm so into...I'm happy they've brought gentlemen's games to the event."
As we wandered past the cricket pitch in question, we caught the eye of some antler-wearers (very Saltburn), who had their own views on the demographic of party-goers.
"It's literally just Clapham and Oxford", they tell us, noting that food options they'd spotted around the site over the weekend included wagyu and ostrich.
Taking a moment to pause, one adds: "It is pretty posh."
There's little wonder it's a hotspot for celebrities and aristocrats alike, and it doesn't seem like it'll be shifting its 'Poshstock' nickname anytime soon either.
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