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Moms Who Think
Everyday Manners You Should Be Teaching Your Kids
By Jenna Jury,
3 days ago
When babies are born, they naturally have no concept of manners. This means the responsibility of showing the polite way to interact at home and in society falls on the shoulders of the adults in a child’s life. Some children will pick up manners rather quickly. While others may need to be gently corrected several times before instinctively using the manners instilled in their brains. What is polite can change over time and within each society. Yet, there are specific everyday manners you should be teaching your kid.
Of course, manners can be taught in several ways. Since children are curious observers, they naturally pick up habits from the adults and children around them. This means modeling manners is the first means of introduction to your child! If you want your child to politely say thank you, the best place to start is by doing it yourself.
Another way children learn manners is through gentle instruction . Although it may take years, when you repeatedly enforce manners, they eventually become second nature to your child. For example, start a habit of saying, “We wash our hands before we eat” and do so before every meal. Then they will remember by the time they are old enough to do it on their own.
Since the beginning, society has developed important ways to conduct oneself at home and in public. Over centuries, these manners may have changed depending on what each society deemed important and acceptable. Today, there are still important manners that most societies can look at and say: “Yes, if you want to be polite, then this is how one should act.”
Manners are essential for several reasons. For starters, they remove a person from the “me” way of thinking and allow them to focus on others. Also, building meaningful relationships is easier when we show respect to others, adults and children alike.
When it comes to everyday politeness, there are many types of manners to teach your children, from table manners to how to conduct oneself when meeting someone new. However, a great place to start is with this list of everyday manners you should teach your kids.
Children need to know how to cover their mouths and noses when coughing or sneezing. This simple act will keep germs from spreading all over another person or item and continuing the sickness rampage. Since children are often in close quarters with other children, teaching this simple everyday manner is a great one to begin with.
You can teach your child to use a tissue to cover their mouth and nose when coughing and sneezing from a young age. A tissue is preferable because they can dispose of it when done. However, if a tissue is not available, teach your child to use the inside of their elbows. They are less likely to use this area to touch another person or item.
If your child uses their hands to cover their nose or mouth, gently praise them for their effort and remind them to wash their hands immediately.
Saying please and thank you often seems like a lost everyday manner. However, these simple words can go a long way in making someone feel appreciated, especially if they have gone out of their way for you.
Teach your child when they are young to say thank you when someone has gone out of their way to help them, such as holding a door open or picking an item up. Please is another word that goes a long way when communicating with another person. Therefore, teach your child to use the word please for a request they may have while they are young.
Additionally, you can model respect by saying please and thank you when speaking to your child. This can be done by phrasing requests in a question, like “Will you please unload the dishwasher? Thank you.”
Children are not born knowing the concept of privacy. Any mother who has begged for five minutes of alone time in the bathroom is witness to this fact. This everyday manner can be taught while young and will go a long way as they grow.
Remind your child that privacy is something that every person deserves, and if a door is closed to a room or bathroom, they need to knock. It may take some practice, but eventually your child will catch on. Then the dreaded angry scream of a disgruntled sibling, upset because “my brother/sister came in my room without asking!” will dissolve, and you will have a peaceful home again.
Washing hands goes beyond manners and is more about basic hygiene , which every child needs to know. Warm water and soap go a long way toward keeping a person healthy and stopping the spread of germs.
So, as soon as possible, begin instilling the good habit of using soap and water to wash their hands.
Sometimes, using a utensil takes work. However, in most cases, it is a skill that should be taught. A utensil can keep hands from becoming sticky and keep messes at bay. As soon as your child can hold one, introduce the concept of using a utensil. Before you know it, they will catch on.
Asking for permission is a good habit to develop while young for many reasons. Begin by teaching your child to ask for permission before using something that isn’t theirs, such as an iPad. This skill will be necessary as they age and learn about consent in many forms.
As mentioned before, everyone deserves privacy. While your child is young, teach them the concept of privacy and how to respect another person’s. Remind your child that they do not have to know every detail about a conversation or situation. In fact, nosiness can often be seen as in intrusion of privacy.
Children are notorious conversation interrupters. If this bad habit is not curbed, it can follow them well into adulthood. While your child is young, teach them not to interrupt conversations. A simple way to do so is to teach them the hand-on-the-shoulder method.
Teach your child to place their hand on your shoulder if they have something to say if you’re in the middle of a conversation. When you place your hand over their hand, this will signal to your child that they will be able to talk in just a minute. This simple act will let you know they have something to say and allow them to feel seen and heard because you are taking the time to acknowledge them.
“Excuse me” is a polite way to get a person’s attention or acknowledge when something “rude” accidentally happens. As mentioned before, children are great interrupters, and while teaching them to wait patiently and not interrupt a conversation is beneficial, sometimes they have no choice.
If there is an emergency, teaching your child how to say “excuse me” to interrupt a conversation will allow them to bring your attention to them immediately. This is especially important if your child interrupts often because it will help avoid miscommunication and you thinking they are just interrupting again.
Also, teach your child to say “excuse me” when they burp or pass gas. This allows them to signal to those around them that they acknowledge the act, which wasn’t intentional.
Electronic devices are everywhere, and while they are often an excellent tool for communication and education, they can be distracting. While your child is young, establish a rule of no electronic devices while at the dinner table (this reserves the time for conversation with family) and no electronic devices when someone is visiting or trying to converse with them.
Many times, when a person is trying to have a conversation and the other person is on an electronic device, they feel ignored. If the everyday habit of putting away electronic devices is instilled early, your child can keep unnecessary arguments and relationship issues at bay.
Basic table manners are important to begin instilling at a young age. Closing your mouth while eating doesn’t always come naturally; it’s an important habit to start when you are young. After all, no one likes to see or hear another person’s food at the table.
A simple way to reinforce this habit, if it’s one they struggle with, is to gently remind your child to eat with their mouths closed. You can say something like, “Let’s wait to finish your story until you have chewed up and swallowed all the food in your mouth.”
Some children are messy; there’s no way around it. Learning to use a napkin can benefit everyone.
If your child is particularly messy at the dinner table, begin early by teaching them to recognize something on their face and how to wipe it off politely.
Holding the door open for a person behind you is a simple concept that can be helpful and make a person’s day. This everyday habit will get your child out of their head and teach them to observe others around them.
Children who know how to introduce themselves to another person will gain confidence as they grow. When introducing your child to someone while they are young, teach them to either wave or shake hands and say, “Hello. My name is Jane Doe. What is your name?”
This skill will teach your child how to break the ice when meeting someone new and introduce themselves when no one is around to do so. After all, it is a skill they will need well into adulthood.
Children are notorious for blurting out whatever is on their minds, but not everything they say is helpful or polite. Therefore, as they grow, teach your child that they do not need to comment on another person’s appearance because this is neither helpful nor polite.
An elementary school teacher, Natalie Ringold, put forth a great way to teach this concept, using the 30-second rule of kindness. Tell your child if a person can fix something about themselves in 30 seconds, such as an untied shoe, then it’s okay to bring it to the person’s attention. However, if the person cannot fix a characteristic about themselves within 30 seconds, there’s no need to comment on it. This simple visual may help your child learn what is appropriate to say and what is not.
It’s easy to become narrow-minded and forget about others around you. While your child is young, teach them to extend help to other people if they are able to. Of course, safety rules should always come first. However, if your child sees that another child needs help, extending a helping hand can go a long way.
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