Get updates delivered to you daily. Free and customizable.
Shein K
Will Healthy Relationship Going to Feel Boring?
2022-08-28
User-posted content
I spent last summer flying around the country with a writer friend as she gave a series of talks about her latest book. When I told my mom about this, she replied,
“You can’t put all your eggs in the same basket.” A lot of what happens in our lives is out of our control—from the weather to traffic jams, there are things that happen to us whether we like it or not.
The Healthy Relationship You’re Chasing Is Going to Feel Boringjasminecarter/Pexels
But when it comes to relationships, many of us are going to find ourselves wanting more—more closeness, more realness, more adventure (both physical and emotional).
And so on average, we have more friends than ever before but then again we don't feel as close to any of them either which means creating healthy relationships takes time and effort because once again nothing ever comes easy for us humans!
I spent last summer flying around the country with a writer friend as she gave a series of talks about her latest book.
I spent last summer flying around the country with a writer friend as she gave a series of talks about her latest book.
She’s always been a great travel companion and her latest trip was no exception: she wowed audiences at two conferences, met up with some old friends (including me), got interviewed by local media outlets—and still had time to hang out with me every day.
My favorite thing about this experience wasn't just that we were traveling together but also how easy it was for me to feel like an integral part of her life outside of work.
When I told my mom about this, she replied, “You can’t put all your eggs in the same basket.”
When I told my mom about this, she replied, “You can’t put all your eggs in the same basket.”
I think it is important to know that there are so many different ways to be happy and healthy. You don't need to find a partner who will make you feel good every single day of your life; sometimes it's okay to have some bad days too!
A lot of what happens in our lives is out of our control.
It's easy to feel like you're the only one who wants something. The problem is, this isn't true. People want what they think they need, but often it's not really what they need at all.
They want a partner or spouse who'll give them a stable home life and children; in reality, those things aren't always going to happen because of external factors like money or time constraints (or maybe just the fact that you're not sure if you ever want kids).
Some people have jobs where there's no room for family time either—or maybe even if there were somewhere nearby!
And then there are people like me: single parents who work long hours away from home so we can provide our kids with everything they need while still putting food on the table ourselves...which means sometimes sacrifices have got nothing at all left over after paying rent/utilities/school supplies/etcetera...
I have gone through periods where I felt like I needed to go out and meet new people because everyone I knew was coupled up.
You may have gone through periods where you felt like you needed to go out and meet new people because everyone you knew was coupled up.
You might even have convinced yourself that if something isn't happening for you, it's because there are other people in your life who are doing better than you. But here's the thing: being single doesn't make any of those things true.
And so, on average, we have more friends than ever before, but we don’t feel as close to any of them.
And so, on average, we have more friends than ever before. But guess what? The friendships we do feel close to aren't as strong as they once were.
In fact, according to a recent study by the Pew Research Center and Hart Research Associates (HRA), only about one-third of Americans say that their relationships with family members are strong or very strong—a drop from 55% in 1976 when HRA first conducted this survey.
As for friendship itself: in 2017 alone there were an estimated 31 million solo travelers who traveled alone for pleasure or business purposes; those who traveled solo accounted for 6% of all U.S.-born adults but only 3% of households nationwide (as reported by National Travel & Tourism Office).
When it comes to our relationships, many of us are going to find ourselves wanting more—more closeness, more realness, more adventure, more support, more passion.
When it comes to our relationships, many of us are going to find ourselves wanting more—more closeness, more realness, more adventure, and more passion. However, the thing is: you don't have to have all of these things at once!
Think about this for a minute: if your relationship were an ice cream sandwich that was only available during specific times of day (like breakfast or lunch), would you want one? Probably not. But what if there were two different flavors offered at those times?
Maybe vanilla with chocolate chips or strawberry cheesecake with caramel sauce? Then maybe you'd want both because they're so delicious together!
The same thing goes for relationships; when we're in them (or even thinking about them), we may think "I need my partner's support" but sometimes all he needs from me is for me not to be such a downer." Or maybe she wants reassurance "You really love me?" instead of just telling her how much love she has shown him lately."
In truth, most people’s lives are boring.
In truth, most people’s lives are boring. Most people have jobs they hate and relationships that don’t make them feel fulfilled. They live with their parents or in a small apartment where there are no cats ever sitting on their laps while they play guitar and watch Netflix together.
But it's not just the fact that you're settling down that makes things so boring—it's also because you've settled for something less than what you want!
If you were happier working on your career goals instead of being married to someone who doesn't know how to cook an omelet (and let's be honest here: You probably are), then maybe your relationship would be more exciting too!
Much has been written about settling versus not settling in terms of choosing a partner; I think we should also sit with and ponder whether or not we’re settling for what our life looks and feels like generally.
Much has been written about settling versus not settling in terms of choosing a partner; I think we should also sit with and ponder whether or not we’re settling for what our life looks and feels like generally.
The truth is that many of us are living our lives as if they were more exciting than they are—and, more often than not, this leads to unhappiness.
We spend too much time worrying about how others see us or what people will think when they find out what we do or who we love (or don't).
It can be easy to fall into the trap of believing that owning something makes it yours forever; but while you may have bought yourself some time with your latest purchase by paying cash up front, at some point down the line (if not already), someone else will come along who wants your "thing" even less than you do now...
There is no escaping the fact that if you want to live a healthy life, you might need to make some choices that make things look a little less exciting on the outside.
Choosing a healthy relationship is going to take some time and effort.
It's not something you can simply do on your own, because it isn't an overnight fix. You need to be willing to make sacrifices, but in the end, you will be better off for the experience.
The first step toward building a healthy relationship is being honest with yourself about what you want from life and how much time, energy, and money are needed for that goal (or goals).
Then start listing all of your priorities so that you can see which ones get cut out when choosing between having fun or staying committed to someone else's needs above yours!
Creating a healthy relationship takes time and effort
Creating a healthy relationship takes time and effort. It's not something that happens overnight, so don't expect to get the results you want just by saying "I want this."
You need to be patient with yourself, especially if you've been in an unhealthy relationship for a long time. If it feels like your partner doesn't care about your needs as much as they used to or if they're not meeting them at all, don't give up on them yet—but do start looking elsewhere!
Conclusion
I think the takeaway here is that we need to take a few deep breaths and remember that much of what happens in our lives is out of our control.
We can’t escape the fact that if you want to live a healthy life, you might need to make some choices that make things look a little less exciting on the outside.
It’s important to remember that you can still find happiness and fulfillment in your life, even if it doesn’t look like the lives of people around you.
And if things aren’t working out with someone who is supposed to be a part of your life, don’t give up on them just yet—but do start looking elsewhere!
Get updates delivered to you daily. Free and customizable.
It’s essential to note our commitment to transparency:
Our Terms of Use acknowledge that our services may not always be error-free, and our Community Standards emphasize our discretion in enforcing policies. As a platform hosting over 100,000 pieces of content published daily, we cannot pre-vet content, but we strive to foster a dynamic environment for free expression and robust discourse through safety guardrails of human and AI moderation.
Comments / 0