Where do the 49ers go from here? Back to the painful climb they know too well

If not now, when? If not now, is it never?

That is the emotional weight of the most crushing Super Bowl loss the 49ers have ever endured. They were the best team in the NFL. They finally found their quarterback. But they didn't have enough against the greatest quarterback of all time, in a 25-22 overtime loss.

It is a loss that tears new layers into old scar tissue. It feels like the best shot the 49ers will ever have, and they let it slip.

There is no way to separate yourself from the immediacy of what happened and try to identify satisfying answers for what went wrong.

What could have gone better? Who is to blame? That latter is the most natural question to ask, but there isn't one thing to blame.

Among many things that went wrong:
- An opening drive fumble from Christian McCaffrey
- A false start and hold on back-to-back plays from Trent Williams on the second drive, after a Chiefs 3-and-out
- Dre Greenlaw tearing his Achilles on the sideline
- Failing to score after an Isiah Pacheco fumble, or a Patrick Mahomes interception
- Getting into 3rd-and-9 or more on the first 7 third downs of the game, and going 3-of-12 on third downs for the game
- A muffed punt that hit Darrell Luter Jr.'s ankle, and which Ray-Ray McCloud failed to scoop, and maybe should have tried to dive on, leading to a Chiefs touchdown on the next play to put the Chiefs up 13-10
- Jake Moody's missed extra point on a kick that went too low, and allowed the Chiefs to tie the game with a field goal going into overtime
- Shanahan running 6-straight pass plays after the Mahomes interception from the Chiefs 44-yard line (had an incompletion, then a false start from Aaron Banks to make it 2nd-and-15, then and incompletion and a 4-yard scramble), then, on the next drive, a pass to Jauan Jennings for -8 yards, then a 7-yard pass, then a deep incompletion to George Kittle. The criticism of "six-straight passes" is silly. You can criticize the opening passes, but once the situations became 2nd-and-15 and 18, it's hard to criticize that.
- The decision to take the ball in overtime, allowing the Chiefs to see what the 49ers did, and dictate their approach
- Brayden Willis' hold on a 2nd-and-2 at the Kansas City 18-yard line. George Kittle returned from injury on the next play. The 49ers could have burned one of their three timeouts to get him on the field.
- The unblocked pressure of Chris Jones, when Purdy had a wide open Jauan Jennings and Brandon Aiyuk to throw to, if he had more than a second to throw the ball

Does it feel better to see it all written out? Probably not.

But that's the reality. If one of those things goes right, maybe the 49ers win. If a ball doesn't bounce off a foot, if Dre Greenlaw doesn't tear his Achilles (though Oren Burks played well) jumping on the sideline, if if if... but it's all just ifs.

That's why it cuts so deep. The 49ers answered their most important "if," at quarterback, and it still wasn't enough.

Searching for answers after this loss is an exercise in futility. There is no closure.

Shanahan has now lost three leads in Super Bowls of 10 points or more, and three with leads of three or more with three minutes remaining. He's the only coach to play in overtime games in the Super Bowl, and has lost both.

His ballsy decision to go for it on fourth down in the fourth quarter was rewarded with a touchdown, then a missed extra point. What would have been described as a legacy-defining decision is washed away by questions about not running the ball more. Glory, erased by hollowness.

So where do they go now? What do they do with this feeling?

They are living in the spirit of Johnny Cash's ballad of pain, "Hurt." The only answer is to persist, founded upon the haunting memories of past failures.

"The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything"

The 49ers are a year older, with cavernous wounds from a playoff run that will wear on their psyche and bodies. The will and energy to come back and do it all over again will be far harder to find. Every ache, every bruise looms larger as younger teams threaten them.

Competitors like the Detroit Lions will be a year more mature, and ride into the offseason with cap space the 49ers don't have. They will have unbridled optimism coursing through their veins.

Surely, the 49ers will say, "Well, we'll get 'em next year." Just run it back.

Most of the their key pieces will return next season. The core, pending Dre Greenlaw's Achilles recovery, is still intact. But there is knowledge that the climb, which is already impossibly tough, will become more difficult. That weight is not easily shed.

They have been *this* close to touching the peak of Mount Olympus, of cementing themselves in NFL history as champions, only to have their ankles grabbed near the summit, and thrown asunder, careening down the mountain.

To be a team that simply admires the mountaintop, wallowing in mediocrity or dreadfulness, is easier.

There is comfort in knowing you are not meant to embark upon that climb. But to believe wholeheartedly that you were meant to stand atop that peak, only to fall to the earth, is an impossible feeling to make sense of.

"And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt"

This is the best shot the 49ers had. It came against a weakened Kansas City team that is by far the worst they have won a Super Bowl with... and the 49ers still didn't have enough.

This loss will leave questions about whether the 49ers will ever be able to win another Super Bowl, or whether Kyle Shanahan has the capacity to win one.

He is, ironically enough, in the same situation that Andy Reid found himself in with the Eagles. Maybe it takes Shanahan another decade, or another team to find it. Or maybe the 49ers can manage to win it next year, and all of this becomes moot. But that is an immensely long, arduous journey.

"If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way"

Shanahan said he doesn't have regrets about how the 49ers prepared for this game, but he had no illusions about what it will take, and how long it takes to return to this spot.

"I hurt the most for the players," Shanahan said. "I can't tell you guys how long it takes to get here and just how long an NFL season is going through January, and all the way into February. So our guys, I hurt for the most."

The one thing the 49ers can, and should cling onto, is that Purdy was one of the few things that did not go wrong. He is still just 24 years old, with two more years of his rookie contract remaining. He'll be cheap even in the first year the 49ers extend him.

Keep Purdy healthy, and as painful as it is to start again, they'll keep climbing.