When a Grandchild Has Autism

Grandparents often use their years of parenting experience in relating to their grandchildren. Sure, they may modify their behavior based on the fun of having the kids only part-time as well as the parents’ childrearing philosophies. But sometimes the familiar playbook won’t work, as when a grandchild has autism. By learning how to adapt to the child’s special needs, grandparents can provide support and build the relationship.

Mark Blakey, a writer for Autism Parenting Magazine , discusses the top 10 ways to create an autism-friendly environment for a grandchild with autism and ways to support the child’s siblings.

Top 10 ways to create an autism-friendly home

Grandparents can create an autism-friendly home environment for when their grandchild comes to visit. The right environment promotes comfort, safety, and independence for children on the autism spectrum. Grandparents create this space by implementing sensory-friendly design, organization, and routines.

Minimize sensory overload

Children with autism can be sensitive to certain sounds, lights, and textures. Blakey says, “Consider using soft lighting, noise-canceling headphones, and sensory-friendly materials to create a calming environment.”

Establish consistent routines

Routines provide structure and predictability, which can be comforting for children with autism. Develop consistent routines for daily activities, such as mealtimes, bedtimes, and playtime.

Create a sensory-friendly space

Designate a quiet, low-stimulation area in your home where your child can retreat when feeling overwhelmed. This space can include comfortable seating, calming lighting, and sensory toys or activities.

Organize and label

Clear organization and labeling can help children with autism navigate their environment more easily. “Use visual cues, such as pictures or color-coding, to label items and areas in your home,” says Blakey.

Provide visual schedules

Visual schedules can help children with autism understand and anticipate daily activities and transitions. Use pictures, symbols, or written schedules to communicate routines and expectations.

Incorporate sensory-friendly furniture and décor

Choose furniture and décor that are comfortable and calming for your grandchild. “Consider using soft textures, muted colors, and minimalistic designs to create a soothing environment,” adds Blakey.

Limit clutter

Clutter can be overwhelming and distracting for children with autism. Keep living spaces organized and free of unnecessary items to promote a sense of calm and order.

Offer sensory-friendly activities

Provide sensory-friendly activities and toys that align with your grandchild’s interests and sensory needs. These can include fidget toys, weighted blankets, or sensory bins.

Involve your grandchild

Involve the child in the process of creating an autism-friendly home environment. Seek their input and preferences to ensure that the modifications meet their specific needs and promote their comfort and independence.

“These approaches promote comfort, safety, and independence, allowing children with autism to thrive,” Blakey says.

Supporting siblings of the grandchild with autism

The presence of autism in a family can profoundly affect the siblings. These brothers and sisters often navigate complex emotions and scenarios that can significantly impact their development and family dynamics.

Blakey explores the perspective of siblings of children with autism and offers insights on how best to support them, too.

Recognizing the sibling’s experience

Siblings of children with autism may experience a range of emotions, from confusion and concern about their sibling’s behavior to jealousy over the amount of attention the child with autism may receive. They might also feel pressure to compensate for their sibling’s needs by downplaying their own or may carry fears about the future. Acknowledging these feelings and providing a safe space for siblings to express themselves is crucial.

Blakey emphasizes that parents and caregivers such as grandparents should recognize and validate these feelings. “They need to know that their emotions are just as important and that it’s okay to talk about them openly,” he says.

Some support strategies will likely fall in the parents’ laps, not the grandparents. Age-appropriate education and awareness can help siblings understand and empathize with their brother’s or sister’s behavior, says Blakey. Siblings may benefit from professional help from a counselor or therapist to help them deal with emotions and challenges. Sibling support groups allow siblings to meet others in similar situations, share experiences, and learn coping strategies. The Sibling Support Project’s Sibshops provide fun peer support and information for siblings of kids with disabilities.

Grandparents can support siblings with regular check-ins and one-on-one time. Shared activities can have a positive impact, as can giving the children the chance to talk about their feelings, share updates on their life, and feel valued and heard.

Related: Spending time with grandkids

Making family memories

In planning outings, grandparents can look for activities that accommodate all of the grandkids’ needs and interests. Inclusive activities can help build bonds and reduce feelings of resentment or isolation. Children’s museums, libraries, concerts, movie theaters, and other venues offer special sensory-friendly events, welcoming your grandchildren with autism and their loved ones.

All children have their own individual personalities, likes, and dislikes. Knowing how to best relate to a special needs child, including a grandchild with autism and their siblings, can enhance the experience for everyone. Make warm, lasting memories!

Mark Blakey is writer for Autism Parenting Magazine , a publication dedicated to improving the lives of families affected by autism worldwide. Established in 2012, the magazine provides objective coverage of autism-related topics, events, treatments, and success stories, offering a valuable resource for parents seeking informed decisions and the latest therapeutic options. With contributions from professionals, autism experts, and individuals on the spectrum, the magazine fosters a supportive community while advocating for understanding, acceptance, and individualized approaches to autism care.

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