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"My In-Laws Are Loaded, And We Never Asked For Anything": This Mother-In-Law Asked For Money For The Gifts She Gave To Her Newborn Grandchild
By Fabiana Buontempo,
28 days ago
Getting pregnant and being able to give birth is one of life's greatest blessings. However, sometimes, with these exciting moments in life comes unwarranted behavior from some family members, like a mother-in-law.
Serrnovik / Getty Images
This Redditor shared their situation in the r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit, and this story sounds like it could be the plot of Monster-in-Law 2.
The title of the OP's story is, ' MIL “Kindly” bought us gifts and dinners while in Hospital having our baby—Venmo requested the balance from me when we got out.' She wrote, "The title says most of it. MIL kept track of all the expenses we 'accrued' in the hospital for having our baby. We thought the meals and supplies were kind gestures because my in-laws are freaking LOADED, and we NEVER asked for anything.
Come to find out, she Venmo requested it all to be paid back the day we got home (and discovered that we would have to go back to the PICU for our daughter's complications). We’ve since discovered what a narcissist is, and she is a full-blown narcissist and addicted to spending money for herself. It really hurt us, especially since I was just laid off (since then, I got a new job). It was basically like I gave her my credit card to spend at her discretion and had no idea. Am I overreacting, or should I still be upset at her?" asked the OP.
Note: Some of this submission has been edited for length and/or clarity.
Over 100 people chimed in, relating to this story and sharing their advice on what this OP should do.
"Congratulations on the new little squish!!
My MIL did similar with a Christmas gift. She bought us, at the time, the newest and biggest TV. She sent me a message later that she needed me to pay at least half of it back as it was a huge expense and manipulated me into believing that everyone (her, FIL, my husband, and me) was on the same page. Long story short, four months later, my husband asked me what these charges were and was furious. He confronted his mom, returned the TV, and paid back the rest of the amount that was owed. I told her we would no longer accept 'gifts' like this. FIL was surprised by this, too; it ended up being a whole thing (and yes, she blamed me for it).
Bottom line: Do not pay her. Send a group text with you, her, her FIL, and your husband to let her know that you will NOT reimburse her for 'gifts' and that no 'gifts' will ever be accepted from her. I'd also return anything you can. Depending on how this goes, I'd also send her a list of "services" and their charges if she wants to visit you and your baby."
This commenter validated the OP's feelings, which we love!
" No, hun, you're not overreacting. Your husband needs to call or text his mother and say, 'Mom, there must be a misunderstanding because we did not order or request anything from you; therefore, we will not be paying for anything we did not specifically ask for. Thanks for understanding.' Then block her on everything and focus on your new little family of 3. Good luck!"
" Don’t pay her back. I’m so serious. Simply tell her that you didn’t ask for anything. She offered, and had you known that it would be a 'debt' and not a gift, you would have allowed someone else to show that kindness in a way that didn’t need to pay back, and in the future, she won’t be the one you depend on for things like that."
What do you think? Why do you think the mother-in-law is behaving this way? Is there a right or wrong way of handling this situation? How does one begin to set boundaries here? Share all your thoughts with me in the comments below!
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