The Strawberry Letter: My Husband Is A Thug And A Prominent Pastor

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I've been married for seven years. I'm 43 and my husband is 38, but he acts like the world owes him something and always has a chip on his shoulder. He is argumentative and a wannabe thug. He grew up in a rough area and had to make it out of the hood on his own, but he won't acknowledge that he's in a much better place spiritually and financially now. He will preach a good sermon on Sunday, but Monday through Saturday, he curses, drinks, and is a womanizing thug. He curses like a sailor and loves to brag about fighting and whose behind he could whoop if he had the chance.

He's cheated on me twice. The second time it happened, I checked out of the marriage. I would love to divorce him, but I can't because he is my sole source of income. I got laid off in April of last year and I'm having a hard time finding a full-time job. He stands in the pulpit on Sundays while I sit amongst the two or more women he slept with at the church. A few Sundays ago, a female church member approached me and said my husband made inappropriate remarks to her. I told her that she should tell her husband. A couple of days later, my husband came home and said he got into a verbal altercation with the lady's husband, and I acted surprised. My husband was flustered and embarrassed.

I'm thinking all of the men in the church need to know what he's up to. The two church members he slept with are married, and I think their husbands should know what my husband has been doing. Should I start a war at the church or leave vengeance up to the Lord?